My husband has a strong, steadfast moral code. He will pay for the grape he swipes at the supermarket. He will always obey the speed limit. He will never remove the tag from a pillow or mattress.
Ok, I'm exaggerating, but you get the point. My husband is a moral man and I love him to pieces for it.
A dear friend asked me to do something not really technically legal. I even said not to tell Jason because I knew he wouldn't approve. (Bad girl! The shrew is being tamed!)
So, because I can't even THINK something wrong and not tell my husband, I told him. As predicted, he said, "That's lying. Don't do it." Sigh. Big (moral, sweet, good) meanie.
So I waffled a bit and kept the (stolen) files until he finally said, "If you do that again, I'll give you a spanking." Alright, alright.
But that didn't mean I couldn't tell someone else about this mildly illegal activity, if they were interested, right?
So, I did.
That night, I climbed into bed. I still remember I was wearing a sweet little outfit he adores, and we were kissing and having a bit of fun. My guilty conscience said, "tell him." So I blurted it out. He sighed and said, "hon, you know that's really stealing. It doesn't make it any more right if its someone else doing it. Please don't do it again."
I nodded, chastened. And we continued to chat and flirt. And the little voice said, "you know you knew it was wrong." So with a deep breath, I whispered, "I knew you wouldn't approve but I chose to do it anyway."
He paused. It's not always easy knowing how to tame the shrew.
Sometimes she needs mercy and sometimes she needs her ass smacked.
"Well," he said finally. "Then you need a spanking." He sat up and opened The Drawer, and took out the little paddle. I put myself over his lap and he spanked me.
I felt better.
I deleted the files. I told my friend what Jason said and she deleted them.
And I've never stolen books again. And I always pay for grapes I swipe at the supermarket.
This Is why I confess to my husband. I want nothing between him and me, ever. He wants me to be good and honest and loving, and he does his very best to be good and honest and loving himself.
If he is going to make every effort to be good, and I'm going to learn to be the good girl he desires me to be, I need to stand before him in honesty and humility.
And when he leans down to me and kisses me and says, "you're my good girl and I'm proud of you," I know he means it.