Now it has to be understood that the first time my husband spanked me "for real," we'd been playing hanky spanky games for a while. So being brought over my husband's knee for a spanking wasn't new to me. What WAS new to me was being punished for something I did. Whoa. Entirely different mentality! This is why when someone says "well how is it punishment if you like it?" I think, oh there's a difference alright. Oh, it is punishment.
The mentality of the submissive partner Is the biggest difference. I've had erotic spankings that hurt more and lasted longer than some punishments I've gotten. Erotic spanking turns me on. Punishment does not (though sometimes the dominating and loving manner of my husband is arousing later.)
So one day he told me he expected me to obey him. I fairly scoffed at the idea of him really punishing me. Was I a kid or something? Surely he couldn't really even do it with a straight face, right?
We were in our bedroom, getting ready for the day and I was telling him how I was struggling meeting a goal of mine. Whilst getting dressed, he said, "Seems like you've been struggling with this for a long time. Maybe if you don't do what you should, I should give you a real spanking. Maybe that will help you do what you need to."
I looked at him in shock. Did he just say what I thought he said?
So in the tradition of the spanking-threatened female, I laughed. "You wouldn't!"
Imagine this is me. This is the look I'm giving him. He says I look like her, so here's a pic for blogland.
"I'm serious," he said.
"I don't believe you!" I said, still completely incredulous. I leaned over to pick something up from the bed.
Dear readers, learn from my mistake. If your loving husband says he'll spank you, don't question his sincerity if the man has a belt in his hand.
He stepped over to me, gave me a hard swat that had me squealing and grabbing at my rear end, and said, "Oh, believe me. I'm serious." He leaned me over and landed a few more with his belt to show me he meant business.
I was still kind of giggling at this point, but a little in awe. Did he really just threaten to spank me?
On the way to his work, I asked him about ninety times, "Are you serious?" and he'd just calmly say, "Of course I am. You need help with this. I want to help. If you mess up again, expect a spanking."
Now hanky spanky games were thoroughly enjoyable. But the thought of my sweet husband standing up to me and giving me a real spanking? I was in awe of him and more than a little impressed.
And yet, I chose to disobey him. Yep, there's a reason why there's a shrew being tamed here.
Feeling somewhat guilty, but mostly seriously thinking he would never follow through, I told him I disobeyed him. Without batting an eyelash, he got his belt and instructed me to put myself over his lap.
I remember flushing madly and not wanting to do it.
I said something like, "Are you serious?"
And with a no-nonsense expression, he said something like, "Yes. Do it."
So...I did. I'd only gotten a few swats with the belt, the day he threatened to spank me, and given me a bit of a taste.
I was kinda terrified.
He told me he was going to give me ten swats and I was to count each one out loud. Another first! So I did..and he spanked me...and when he was done, I stood myself up, mortified and repentant, and promised I'd be good. He gave me a bit of a lecture and I don't remember what he said but I know I was thinking that I'd never do anything wrong for the rest of my life, or something along those lines. It was far from the worst spanking I'd ever gotten, but the memory has stayed with me.
I think back on it with tenderness, if you can believe it.
It was a step along the way. One step towards him embracing his role as my Dominant partner. One step towards me embracing my role as his Submissive. He wasn't angry. He was only motivated by love of me.
I found new respect for my husband. I realized how badly I wanted to please him.
And thus began our journey.