I give him my best puppy dog look.
"No. Not now. The time isn't right. You're impatient, and I need you to trust me."
My lower lip starts to go out. I feel the brat rising. She's coming and I don't know if I can stop her before she rears her ugly head. Sometimes he gives me "the look" and she's tamed.
Sometimes, she isn't.
"But it's not fair! Pleeease?"
I cross my arms across my chest and squinch up my nose. It's a particularly ridiculous thing for a full-grown woman to do, but what can I say. I'm still being tamed.
His eyes narrow, and the next thing you know, I find myself hauled over his lap, instantly immobile and bared. Uh-oh. He gives me a look like this. Like, "Really? You're really gonna do that?"
"Yeoch!" Crap, I forgot how much the hand can sting on bare skin.
I squirm. Yeah, right. Like that'll help.
"Okay! Okay, I'll be good!" It's not true. I won't be, but I can keep trying anyway. I feel the brat begin to dissipate.
"You will, will you?"
"Yeees!" She's almost completely gone now.
Swat! My ass is on fire.
"You are?" He gives me one more good swat.
The brat has now completely fled. I feel meek and subdued.
"Yes," I say, fully repentant. I lay myself on his chest and he's holding me, then his hand travels down and he's rubbing the sting out of my bottom.
I look up to him with a frown. "I don't know why I do that. I don't know why I can be such a brat sometimes! I'm sorry."
He gives me a good-natured grin. God, how I love that he takes this all in stride.
"That's okay, babe. I'll spank the brat outta ya."
I think, "I will try. Yes, yes, I will try to be good!" and "I'm so glad he's so patient with me," and "God, you're so hot."
Thanks, Jason. I doubt it can be done, but it's worth a shot anyway.