Jason is blaming my hormones and I quite agree. Perhaps some of you can relate.
It didn't always used to be this way. There was a time when these nasty little buggers didn't bother me, but suffice it to say, now is not that time. Jason and I started noticing a pattern a few months ago, and my dear husband decided a good maintenance spanking would help. How often would I need it? Would it really help?
Turns out yes, it absolutely does help, and I need it about once a day.
I thought he'd give me a few swats to keep the hormones at bay, but when we do a maintenance-type spanking, he calls all the shots. He did not give me a few swats but a good, hard spanking, accompanied by a long lecture.
"I know you feel out of control and miserable. Trust me to lead you. You'll get past this."
"One step at a time. Let it all go."
I was left happy and content until the next morning, when I'd wake with that elephant on my chest and the desire to throw things. Yes, I'm not kidding. Ack!
Rinse, lather, repeat.
So yesterday I realized that once again, the evil little demons were coming to play again. Everything was going well...until it wasn't. I wanted to cry or stomp my feet and break things for really no reason. I told my husband.
Jason: "That's okay, babe. I have a plan for you."
I can sometimes be a bit slow on the uptake. What did he have in mind? (duh!)
Me: "Oh yeah? What, hon?"
Jason: With a smile. "I'm gonna smack it outta your ass."
Me: Oh. Eeep! Gulp. "You really think it'll help?"
Jason: "Yes, I sure do. In fact, there's a guy who discovered the cure for PMS. His name is Ben Dover, and the name of his company is OTK."
Me: Giggles nervously, somewhat apprehensive cuz the guy spanks HARD but happy that I won't have to deal with these awful feelings.
We went out to see fireworks, and I had some sangria...a bit too much for someone who was supposed to drive home. I was fine to drive but wine knocks me out. I was exhausted. So tired I could hardly keep my eyes open in traffic. So we're stuck in traffic and I can barely keep my eyes open, so Jason decides the best thing to do is blast the a/c to keep me awake. It worked alright but I was pissed and actually slammed it off at one point.
"Don't touch it again," he said. "You touch it again, you're in major trouble when we get home."
I was fuming. But, awake. We drove a bit longer. Finally I begged him, "Please shut it off!"
"Nope and if you even ask me again, you know exactly what'll happen when we get home."
So I absolutely seethed the entire way home. When I got home, really I was a goner. I don't know if I could've reigned in if I tried. But I didn't even try. He got the kids ready while I stomped my way to my room and let loose a few nasty words I shouldn't have. He followed me in the room, shut and locked the door, and picked up an implement.
I did what I have never ever done before.
"No!" I shouted. "Don't you dare! Leave me alone!"
As if that was going to stop him?
So then I did something else I've never done before. I flipped over so I was laying flat on my back and he couldn't reach my butt.
"Noooo! The kids are still awake! Leave me alone!"
Told you I was crazy.
He's bigger than I am, so the next thing I know, he's flipping me over, telling me exactly what he expects of me, and pulling my pants down. I reluctantly got on my belly and buried my head in my arms.
I got a good spanking, a firm lecture, and he left the room.
I was humbled. The nasty bugger feelings were completely gone. But now all I felt was repentant, secure in him, but really needing a hug and reassurance.
He came back in the room after the kids were put to bed. I crawled into his arms and he held me, consoled me, and talked to me. He told me the first spanking was for the attitude, then told me to get over his lap for another spanking for drinking too much.
But it wasn't a hard spanking, more of a warning, with a lecture about being safe and how much he loved me. It immediately led to other far more pleasant things, and I went to sleep utterly and blissfully content.
Here I am now, and I know I will have Mr. Ben Dover to thank for curing my PMS over the next couple of days, but I'm feeling perfectly fine with that. Really, it's just what the doctor...or shall I say Dom... ordered.