Sunday, November 3, 2013

Taming the Brat

I hate how I feel when I lose my temper. I hate that feeling of helplessness and the terrible feeling of guilt I get when I've been rude to my husband.

One of the reasons I wanted DD was because I wanted him to help me overcome this.

It took some communicating how I felt and asking for his help and him seeing the positive effects of discipline. And now, he never allows me to lose my temper or speak disrespectfully. Things are so much more peaceful, really.

Most of the time, a look or verbal warning gets the point across.

A few weeks ago, he chided me for something I'd done. I got defensive and began to protest.

"But I --" and he immediately skewered me with a look and interrupted me. "Do not argue with me. Is that understood?"

I felt immediate calm. The tone and the look put me in my submissive place, where I want to be. I feel safe, because he's in charge and I trust him. I closed my mouth and said, "Yes, sir." He explained his position, and because I hadn't been allowed to argue, I heard him out. And honestly? He was right.

Truth is, I love having a calm, firm husband who won't let me get away with my silly bratty attitude. He listens to me and always hears me out. He understand when I'm frustrated or overwhelmed. But a major fit isn't allowed.

But here's my dilemma. In my head I always thought how nice it would be to not be allowed to brat. To have that stern, commanding presence. That calming effect. And it is nice. However...that doesn't mean I don't have the temptation to brat. It doesn't mean I still don't get royally pissed off. 

Last week, many things happened at once. I was very hormonal and on edge. I was overtired and grumpy. I came upstairs, and completely lost it. 

I began by spouting off some angry things at my children. They got defensive, and Jason was waking up, and he started to tell me to stop it already. I ignored him. In the middle of my ranting, a glass of water fell on me and caused a huge messy disaster. I went kind of crazy.

I went into my room, getting ready for the day, and Jason grabbed my hand and said, "Stop this immediately." But I was too far gone. 

I yanked my hand out from his and continued to rant and rave. I threw things and slammed things. I knew I was going to get a spanking but I didn't care. I was far too gone. 

He told me to stop. He tried very hard to get me to. But I didn't. I couldn't. 

Finally he stormed off to our bedroom door, shouted for my kids to go downstairs, slammed the door and locked it. 

I should've been afraid at this point, but I was  so pissed off

He hauled me over to the bed and pushed me down so I was belly-down. I squeezed my eyes shut as I knew there was no turning back. He yanked down my pants and picked up his belt. 

"You knew this is where this was going. And you know I'm not going to put up with this." 

I buried my face in my hands. He started strapping me, hard. 

Funny how quickly the brat left me. 

I was crying my eyes out. I was so overwhelmed. So irritable. 

He gave me a good, hard spanking, then held me as I cried. And the brat completely fled the building. 

Why do I do this? I don't know. I try hard not to, but it happens. 

And he's decided he's had it with me and my mouth. 

Yesterday, I was supposed to get a "check in," what many would call a maintenance spanking. The afternoon wore on, and it was time. He was busy doing something, and I started looking for the cord to charge my phone with. It was nowhere to be found. I was kind of on edge. 

"What did you do with it?" I asked. "I left it right here." 

"Oh," he said, distracted. "I think I put it on your desk." 

I stormed off to my room, my battery blinking, looking for that cord that wasn't there. 

"It's not there!" I said, now my temper rising. "What did you do with it?" 

Now I had his attention. He came up to me, grabbed a fistful of my hair, pulled me real close to him and said "Knock it off." I pursed my lips and fought the desire to stomp my foot. 

"I'll find your cord. Stop being a brat," he warned. I crossed my arms and glared at him, but said nothing. I was trying to be good, really.

Finally, he found it, and handed it to me. He sat on the couch and looked calmly at me. He didn't glare. Didn't give me the look. Simply said, "Are you behaving now?" I nodded and said yes. He quietly instructed me to go upstairs for my check-in spanking. I obeyed. 

I didn't know how badly I was in for it. 

He came upstairs, and I expected him to sit and talk to me and put me over his lap for my spanking. He did not. 

He picked up the large, wide leather strap that is new to us. It is several feet long, made of soft leather, and I love it for sexy spanking. He doubled it over and without saying a word to me, flipped me over, still fully clothed, and strapped me hard. I was shocked. 

"Ow! What are you doing?" 

Without another word, he turned me around, unbuttoned my jeans, and yanked them down. He put me on my belly.

Now I was getting worried. 

I felt the strap land hard and he was spanking me in earnest. 

"Owowowowowowow!!! What are you doing?" I screamed. It hurt like hell. I'd never gotten the strap for punishment before. It was awful!

He spanked me again and again, while I yelled and protested and told him to stop. I kicked my feet and smacked the bed. It hurt so badly. 

"Get on your knees, chest down, ass in the air!" he commanded. Instinctively, I obeyed and I literally trembled as I knew what he was going to do. 

"Ow! Oh please, honey, stop!! Ow ow ow ow ow! Ouch! No, no, no, stop!" I begged and pleaded. I was so taken aback, not expecting such a hard, no-nonsense strapping. He didn't listen to a thing I said, and continued to spank me. 

I'd been completely taken off guard. 

"I am sick and tired of this," he said as he continued to spank me. "Every single Saturday you brat out, and I have had it. No more. No more am I letting you continue like this." 

As he spanked me, I knew he was right. I do my errands on Saturday and we skip a check in. I end up overwhelmed and grouchy, and I end up being a brat. I really, really try not to, but it happens.

Never in my life have I been spanked with four implements for punishment but he decided it was high time. The last few implements he delivered hard and fast, but thankfully not long. 

"I'm sorry," I cried out. "I'm sorry. I will be good." 

"You always say that," he said, as he continued spanking me. 

"No, I mean it, I'm so sorry." I wasn't shouting or kicking anymore, but subdued and humbled.

He finally was done. I was so sore. I can count on one hand the amount of times he's given me such a severe spanking. It is so extremely rare. But he wanted to make a point. 

Later, he told me he wanted to stop me before I spiraled. 

He rubbed me for a very long time. 

"Please hold me," I begged, and he said, "Let me rub you first, baby girl." 

I let him, then he laid down with his head on the pillow, and held me while I cried. 

"I didn't know you were going to spank me like that," I said and he responded, "I know. I didn't want you to know. I think having that unexpected consequence like that is more effective sometimes." 

"But I hardly even bratted!" I protested. 

"You needed to be stopped," he said firmly. "If you had given me full-on brat, you'd have gotten a far worse spanking." 

I cried quietly, and he held me tightly. 

"You know when you kick those feet it only makes me want to spank you harder, don't you?" he asked. 

"I kicked my feet because it hurt so badly!" 

"No," he said sternly. "You kicked your feet because you were being a brat who didn't want to take her spanking." 


"And I know when you kick those feet that you're really in for it, because I have to spank that brat out of you." 

Guess who'll be trying damn hard not to kick her feet during a spanking anymore?

I sighed, finally reassured, though definitely subdued and wanting him to hold me tight. 

"I will try not to brat. I promise I will try. But I know I'll still do it sometimes." 

"I know, honey," he said. "But you'll learn to curb it." 

The mouth-to-brain function doesn't always works so well. But the butt-to-brain function seems to be in fine working order. 


  1. I honestly don't know why you all continue this lifestyle. It doesn't seem to help your behavior and it seems to be turning him into an abuser. I feel sorry for your children as they must be able to hear your screaming. What kind of example are you setting for them? I think you lack respect for them and your husband and he lacks respect for himself and his family to let this continue.

    1. you know for one you do not have to follow this blog. If you can not say something nice do not say a damn word at all. I happen to knw this person and it is none of your busy about for kids but it will tell you they have no clue. As far as this life it is the best way of life. I think your issue is you can not feel the love we have from your man and the make u mad. she doe not go around trying to get u or any one else to live like she dose so stop trying to tear her down. Her man loves her and neve crosses the line. SO PLEASE say nice things or leave her alone.

    2. Anonymous, I'm sorry if this disturbs you. I can assure you, I am in no way abused and given the very small view into my marriage you have, I don't know how you can judge how this has helped me or not. Really, your comment shows how very little you know about me and my marriage.

      As far as my children, we keep any discipline away from them. If I holler at all (which is honestly rare) I have a pillow. They don't hear a single thing. All they see is two extremely happy parents who are as about into each other as two people can get.

      If this blog disturbs you, maybe you shouldn't read it.


    3. Dear Anonymous,

      I wanted to write because, like you, I am not into the DD lifestyle. My husband and I have a very different dynamic, and when I heard about DD for the first time, I kind-of freaked out because it just seemed so ridiculous. I couldn't imagine how this could really help anyone ever. For whatever reason, I kept reading this blog, and several web forums, really wanting to try and understand why. What I found really surprised me. 1. These women know, beyond doubt, that what the dynamic they have in their relationship is a choice, and that they are free to make another one if that is what they want. 2. Most of the men or leaders in these homes had to be talked into it, and only got on board when they saw it doing good things for their marriages. 3. Every marriage dynamic has the potential for abuse. It truly depends on the people involved.
      In every marriage, people must answer 3 questions. 1. How will we deal with conflict? 2. How will we each grow as individuals and how will we grow as a couple? and 3. How will we deal with the hard situations that life throws our way? The Domestic Discipline dynamic answers those questions far differently than my marriage dynamic does. I know that this set-up would not do good things for my relationship. HOWEVER, I have also seen, first hand, that it is doing good things for people who have chosen it as best for them. I am a huge proponent of freedom for women. But I have realized that if I advocate freedom, then women actually have to be free to choose what it is they really want, in their lives and in their relationships. I have personally spoken with JGirl, and I know for a fact that she is a free woman, making choices that she knows benefit her relationship and enhance her life in the ways that she wants them to. This blog supports people who are working for the same things she and her husband have found beneficial for them. DD is not for everyone. But for those who do want do pursue it, they deserve to have examples of people who are doing it well to learn from. Jason and JGirl are just that.
      Freedom is very hard. It is hard to allow others to make choices that we ourselves would not. There are many areas of life that call for battle. Many women who are being abused and who need champions to stand up for them. Couples like Jason and JGirl would be the first to come to those women's aide, stand with you, and fight against the injustice and for the abused and helpless. But if we advocate freedom and equality for women, we have to believe them when they tell us what they want, even if that answer is not what we expect, and not what we want.

    4. Annie, I love this reply. Thank you so much for the food for thought and the support, my friend.


  2. hey girl love how you can put thing in to words. It is great j seem what u needed and after the shock you can in a much better place. Glad to see things are going well and sorry for going off on the other comment but it made me mad. GREAT POST KEEP THEM COMING.

    1. I really appreciate the support honey!


  3. This lifestyle is not for everyone. However, those of us who choose to take part of it, consent. We are consenting adults, not abused shells of women who are beaten down. If you hate the lifestyle so much I advise you to find other reading.

    1. Totally agree. Thanks for the support!


  4. Terrific post. I think you were tamed for sure by Jason.


    1.'s a process, Joey. If I were truly tamed, I wouldn't get SPANKED. We can't have that now.... ;)


  5. Thank you for blogging!! If somone is not into this lifestyles they should read elsewhere! I for one am very glad you share! Thank you!

    1. Thank you for the encouragement!


  6. I agree - if you don't understand why couples choose to do this, then stop reading the dang blogs. We don't currently have a DD relationship but it's something I'm hoping to begin in the coming months. Thank you so much for blogging - you and a few others have helped me realize what I believe is missing from my marriage. Keep up the good work! I love your honesty!

    1. Cathy, this wasn't a fun post to put up. I did want to be honest. So thanks so much for the support!


  7. ""I will try not to brat. I promise I will try. But I know I'll still do it sometimes."

    I need a new word for "promise" (me, not you) as I often promise SM things like "I promise I will stop, or be good, or... " Maybe the part where you said "I promise I will try" is the best way, try being the key word.

    Thank you for another great post.


    1. Try, try again, Sara.... I know I ain't gonna be perfect!


  8. Hi , I hope you don't mind me commenting but I loved your post, actually I love your blog in general. Now for my little rant, why oh why does anonymous read this and probably other similar blogs? If you can't say something nice don't say anything at all. We love living this lifestyle and we love talking to each other about it, mind you, we are not keen on people who don't know us making rude and unhelpful comments. Sorry ,but I had to say it,

    Hope you have a better week , or at least a brat free one,
    love Jan.xx

    1. Please do comment any time, Jan. No apologies! It's Wednesday, and so far so good! YAY!


  9. Hi JG I have not even read the other comments because what others say are not the point when it comes to what I want to say about this blog here!
    I read this just the first few lines and I had to stop and go do something (life gets in the way) I couldn't wait to get back and finish reading! I knew even reading the the first few lines I would comment and I knew too what I would say more or less.

    When I read those opening lines I went of my goodness what is she doing - reading my mind - describing my feelings - telling my story - all of that and more I can't even begin to express Its is just so close to me and how I feel the I couldn't believe it and when I went away and came back I thought it will look different, something will have changed because surely no one else feels that way - because that really is me she is talking about.

    Those first lines "I hate how I feel when I lose my temper. I hate that feeling of helplessness and the terrible feeling of guilt I get when I've been rude to my husband.One of the reasons I wanted DD was because I wanted him to help me overcome this."

    And then I read on and I just feel you are so amazingly lucky to have someone do what Jason dose - I have recently blown up - thankfully this time I didn't quite get to the thowing or smashing stage - but I have in the past I did tear up something and I did cry in rage and I got myself in a real state and I longed and cried for my husband to throw me across the bed over his knee anything and really spank and spank hard like you described - It dosent happen like that in our household I don't get that kind of discipline but oh boy I desire, carve and want it badly., I have now read some of the comments here - My Dear Anon - you really do not know what you are talking about. I don't know what you do about contlict may you don't have any? Arguments are horrible, losing control is painful and harmful to a person, I am under no delusions spanking like we have here hurts but it heals too and that's definitely what I need - DD or discipline of this type may not be for you but on the other hand maybe it would do you good just once to experience it. But please do not condemm those who are using these methods. I have got to know a few DD folks over the last year or so and they are great people with honest big and loving hearts read some of the response here no one wants to hurt you they are simply defending what is good and true and has helped and strengthened them. While not in a DD relationship I practice a form of submission and obedience to my husband if I fail and break may own rules or if I am rude and disrespectful there is no consequences bar the pain I cause myself but all I can say is I long for consequences and discipline and to be firmly and justly dealt with as I so badly need.
    Thank you JG for this amazing post once again you need a gold medal for this one! Keep up the good work and I think I will believe in this for ever even if my husband doesn't come on board - but perhaps he will and I hope sooner rather than later
    Very much in awe and astounded
    Proud to know you

    1. Jane, your comment meant a lot to me. I'm glad you could relate. You expressed much of my own sentiment as well. I was hesitant at first in posting this but I'm glad it helped.


  10. Wonderful post, I feel this way often also...thank you for sharing! I am with everyone else: if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all anon! It really is very troubling to read comments like that when it is so obvious how well this lifestyle works for JGirl & her husband. I'm sorry JGirl that you had to have a hurtful comment like this left when you shared such a beautifully detailed account of your personal life.
    SHM ; )

    1. Sweet comments like yours have made it worthwhile. Thank you!


  11. Geez, the anon commenter must be interested if he/she is reading the blog.

    As for the post, nicely done. Sounds like he did his job. ;)

    1. Good point, Kenz, and that he did. ;)


  12. To all my readers. Your comments have really lifted me up. I can't tell you how much you all mean to me. THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart.



  13. Oh gosh, I just had an experience very similar to this the other day! I allowed a bad circumstance to really shake my emotional state up, and before I knew it I was an angry ball of tears and stress and fear. I tend to worry myself into the ground, and my DH knows it, so he tried his best to gently calm me down by being loving and offering to hold me and comfort me. Long story short, I entirely refused his offer, threw myself onto the bed, and bawled my eyes out. I didn't want to listen to anything he had to say or trust him with my fear and my stress (even though I KNEW this was not something I could handle on my own) so he finally just flipped me over on my stomach, yanked my panties down, and smacked my poor rear a few hard swats. I listened very well after that, and finally let him hold me & offer me the safety and love I so needed! I'm really grateful he did what he needed to....even though it hurt both my pride and my backside!

    1. Sometimes we just ball up all the emotions and aren't willing or able to be comforted. And it's amazing what a few swats can do to bring us back to our senses! I'm glad you were able to let go and let him comfort you. Sometimes wounded pride and a stinging backside is the price we pay for peace!


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