Friday, December 13, 2013

Spanking Round Table Discussion: Domestic Discipline


This morning, I'm participating in my first-ever Round Table Discussion. Please click the link above to see what it's all about! My apologies to other participants if I haven't done this correctly. It's my first time, and I'm still learning the ropes here. 

Corinne Alexander  is hosting today's discussion, and she suggested the following questions as a jumping-off point. 

What appeals to you about DD? 

This is, surprisingly, a somewhat difficult question to answer. It seems odd that I would be attracted to discipline, especially in that it is often viewed as punishment. Why would I want my husband to punish me? I think maybe it's best to make a distinction between the two. Punishment is merely the act of administering a consequence for wrong behavior. Discipline uses punishment as a tool to help teach someone. 

I love that my husband will help teach me to be a better person. I love that he will help me tame these character flaws of mine, hold me accountable, and make sure I take care of myself and our relationship. 

Our DD dynamic is a means of conflict resolution that, although unorthodox, certainly does help us both. 

When all is said and done, the rules I have in place, and the dynamic we have, makes me feel important to him. I feel like he cares enough about me to make sure I'm safe. I feel like he values our relationship enough that he won't allow discord to push us apart. This is all just the tip of the iceburg. At the heart of it all is that DD makes me feel loved. 

What does not appeal to you about DD?

Mostly, what doesn't appeal to me is the stigma attached. 

Thankfully, there is a large, vibrant, supportive community of people just like us, and that has made a tremendous difference. However, what we do flies in the face of all things modern and progressive! I let him make the decisions. I follow his lead. I let my husband spank me. Even among DD folks, sometimes I share things that cause others to pull back, so sometimes it's hard being the wife that is taken in hand. 

Do you practice any form of DD? 

Yes. We are Dominant/Submissive couple and DD is part of our dynamic. 

What do you think are some common misconceptions of DD? 

When I first heard of DD, I thought it was awful. Archaic! What a domineering, awful thing to do to a wife! I really didn't know how comforting my husband's discipline could be. I had no idea how much closer we would be brought together. So I would say the most common misconception of DD is that it is a harmful dynamic to have in a relationship. Some say that it is like a parent-child relationship. Some say it is abuse. It is neither. 

If you practice any form of DD, what have been the greatest joys it has brought to you?

I have never been happier. My husband Jason and I are deeply, intimately connected to one another in a way that is much more intense that it was before. We communicate so much more effectively. We are about as close to one another as a couple can get. The intimate connection, the eroticism, the necessity of communication, the raw honesty of it all, has brought us closer together than I ever would've thought possible. 

What are the greatest challenges? 

DD is hard work. There is a constant give and take and it takes enormous emotional energy, from both of us. When we have had our challenges, the times have been low. The highs are high, and the lows are low, and riding that emotional roller coaster can be difficult. 

At the end of the day, our DD dynamic has changed our lives. It has led us into a deeper D/S dynamic I never knew possible that is deeply erotic and immensely satisfying, and honestly? We've never been happier. 

Thanks for hosting, Corinne. I look forward to reading along with everyone else!

If any reader would like to respond to any of the above questions in the comment section below, please do. I'd love to hear from you!

Please have a look at the other discussion participants!


  1. I love your answer to the first question. It really is all about feeling loved, protected, and safe. Yes we may be getting disciplined at times, but that feeling that comes with it, is just so great. Glad you participated in this, it was fun to read your answers! :)

  2. Great answers. I agree that it is so hard admitting that this makes us happier, but I also agree that the journey is worth the hard work. Thanks for sharing.

  3. So very nicely stated. It is a hard journey that can leave one vulnerable. There are moments of emotional pain as you explore, discuss and try to make adjustments that work for you. I am notknew to being a spanked wife, we just now know there really is a dynamic purpose for what we have been doing. The difference is being educated about what you want to achieve in your relationship, besides a sore backside. I really appreciate having some resources to follow and be encouraged by.

  4. I agree that emotional intimacy is a key joy of DD. So many couples drift apart after a little while, primarily because they lose that connection (or maybe never really had it in the first place). I also like your point about it being hard work. Any good relationship takes work. Nothing is easy, and that challenge means that you have to try every day to communicate and even compromise. Good post.

  5. Wonderful answers, and so profound. Love the 'lows are lows' and the highs are high part, especially. It is extremely emotional, not just physical, and you really hot that across. I love how you talked about the joys and downers of your journey! :) Thanks so much for sharing with us all!

  6. I love what you said about the rules and dynamic making you feel important. That is so true!

  7. thanks for taking part :) I loved reading your answers. Your comments on the emotional roller coaster are so right on

  8. THank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you have a beautiful DD relationship going!

    1. PS-- thank you SO much for listing out DD authors on your side bar-- you rock!

  9. Great post!
    I totally agree about the security and love, and the lows and the highs. All of it!
    This was so well said!
    I hope you come back again for another Round Table post!

    Thanks for sharing your journey with us!

  10. Thanks for joining in on the this topic! I love getting new perspectives and insights and I hope that you will join in again on a future topic.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts, great post :)

  11. Kenzie -- I agree. At the end of the day, it can be so fulfilling!

    Johanna -- thank you. And thanks for stopping by!

    Catherine -- I agree that the difference in practicing DD and knowing why we practice it is huge. Understanding the "whys" can bring about so much more peace!

    Trish -- It's true that any relationship is hard work, and DD is no exception!

    Korey Mae -- Sometimes the emotional roller coaster is difficult and I wanna get off the train! But it's all worth it.

    Joelle-- thank you! I'm glad you made it over here! :)

    Renee -- It is my pleasure!

    Katherine -- I do plan on participating again. Thank you!

    Casey --- I love getting new perspectives as well. Thanks. :)

  12. Beautiful thoughts on DD! The beginning of your post describes everything that makes me feel warm and fuzzy about DD. I LOVED having your voice added to the Round Table discussion! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to comment. I have had a sick family. I hope you will join in future discussions as well! I have subscribed to your blog!

    1. Thank you, Corinne, and I completely understand! I'm so glad you made it here! It's been fun participating in the discussion, and I do hope to do so again in the future. :)


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