I realized recently that this little blog of ours has been up and running now for just over a year. It caused me to reflect back on the past year, how far we've come in so short a time. The struggles, the victories, how Jason and I have come to understand one another. It caused me to give thanks for the people I've met, and friends I have made.
Writing about how we do things has, at times, been challenging. Sometimes, the challenge has been searching deep within myself for a complete understanding of how I'm feeling, how he feels, and sometimes, I feel I've only barely grasped the finer pieces of how it all fits together, as day by day we make this our own.
Sometimes, especially as we faced serious challenges and our dynamic intensified, the challenge was taking this area of my life in which I am most vulnerable, and taking that vulnerability a step further, taking that risk and putting ourselves out there. It's hard to explain how that feels at times. It's like building something that is precious and dear to you, like an artist may feel about a work of art, and taking that risk to share it with others. You risk ridicule. You risk criticism. You risk being misunderstood. But I am so glad I took that risk.
It's been so amazing getting to know some of you. I've enjoyed making friends, and learning about how others do things.
It takes me longer to write things now, because as we progress, it's harder to put things into words. I often draft a post and take a week or so to fine-tune and edit. But this is not farewell. I have several posts drafted I plan on publishing, but the way things are going, it may take me a month or so! ;)
It's been amazing sharing this all with Jason. He reads this blog, and at times has put his own contributions in. I've loved being able to convey to him in writing things that somehow fall short when I try to put it in words. Things like thank you and this means so much to me, just don't convey how I truly feel, how he fulfills a desire of mine deep within me so beautifully, and so perfectly.
But there is one thing I need to say to all of you, readers. One of the most beautiful aspects of blogging has been the feedback I've gotten from all of you. Yes, it's nice to hear the kind, and encouraging comments you all leave from time to time. But that's not what I'm referring to.
What I love is hearing you tell me how you are trying hard at your own dynamics. How you're taking long, hard looks at yourselves and taking that risk, going down that road of self discovery. How you're falling short at times, but you're picking yourself up and trying again.
You are courageous. You are humble. You love deeply.
I cannot tell you how inspiring it is to hear from all of you, some of who have been married for decades and still had the courage to begin this journey. Some of you have tried and failed, and you're giving it a go again. Some of you are afraid, but willing to take that risk. Some of you have been badly hurt, but you've taken your challenges as opportunities to learn and grow.
So I applaud you. I want to encourage you.
Make this your own. There is no one way to do things. You will fall. You will risk being hurt. At times, things can be confusing. You may be frustrated or discouraged, but keep on going. Keep giving deeply from within yourself.
My hope and prayer is that all of you find, as Jason and I have, that this is much more challenging than you ever thought it would be, but that it so much more beautiful than you ever imagined.