Tuesday, July 8, 2014

A Good Ten

I'm in the kitchen preparing dinner. Without thinking, I do something incredibly dangerous and stupid. It's kind of embarrassing, but you can use your imagination. I thought I was being careful but....welllll...

"What are you doing?" he bellows. Jason scares the hell out of me. He is not a bellower, so I just about jump out of my skin. 

"What?" I say, giving him the deer-in-the-headlights stare. With that tone of voice and that look he's giving me, I know if we were alone right now, he'd probably be tipping me over his knee right then and there.

"Don't you ever let me see you do that again! Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? I mean never ever ever again!" 

I nod, chastened and embarrassed and humbled. I thought I was being careful. I, um, do it all the time. Okay, okay. 

So I make myself stop this habit pronto. 

But, about a week later, I catch myself doing it again. Shoot. Uh-oh.  I feel guilty. 

We have a "fess up" rule. He always checks in with me in the evening, so we are snuggling on the couch and he asks me if I've been a good girl. 

"I...um. Caught myself doing it again," I say sheepishly. I tell him what happened. He gives me the raised eyebrow look. I try to be scrupulously honest with him, even if it's embarrassing. 

"You did?" 

"Yes! But I, um, caught myself right away! And I stopped!" I look at him, mustering up all the cuteness I possibly can. "That counts for something, right?" I ask in a teeny tiny voice. 

He smiles and squeezes his arm around my shoulder. "It does," he admits with a narrowed-eye smile. Then he sobers. "But, I think a good ten should remind you not to do it again." I blink. 

"Just as a reminder," he says.

I nod. He raises his eyes again. 

"Yes, sir," I say quietly. He smiles his approval.

I do love that he's so overprotective protective. 

But at bedtime, I am utterly, completely bone-tired. The kids are asleep and I crawl into bed and completely zonk out, dead to the world, with my book falling by my side. 

He comes to bed and wakes me gently. 

"Time to get ready for bed, baby girl," he whispers. I stumble out of bed, barely able to keep my eyes open, but I obey him. He leads me to the bathroom, practically holding me I'm so exhausted.

"I was in trouble," I mumble. "Right?" I can't even open my eyes completely. 

He is smiling at me, like he wants to pick me up and stick me in his pocket. 

"You're such a good girl," he says softly, reaching over and tucking my hair behind my ear. "Just a little bit of trouble," he murmurs. He pinches his thumb and index finger together. "Just a tiny bit." 

"Yes, sir," I whisper, my words barely coherent. I'm so tired I feel like I'm sleep walking, as I go back to our bedroom.

He comes in. There's an unmistakable look of pride on his face. I'm not sure why. His look is so tender. I'm so tired, and I don't know exactly why he's being so gentle, so patient, and why he is looking at me that way. 

I feel somehow that I am absolutely precious to him. He comes over to my side of the bed where I'm laying down. 

"You're such a good girl," he whispers. "Do you know that? You make me so proud. Just look at how hard you're trying. My good girl," he says. 

He is standing next to me and he rolls me over to my side, lifts his hand and swat! He gives me the lightest, gentlest swat possible.

"One," he says, as he proceeds to deliver and count out ten tiny swats.

"See? Just a little trouble," he chuckles, tucking the blanket over me. He puts his hand on my head, as is his custom, wishing me sweet dreams. 

"Go to sleep, baby. Such a good girl," he says, so softly it's as if he's talking to himself.

I remember a time when I would've been confused about the gentle spanking. But now I just roll over on my side, determined to continue to do my very best to be his good girl.

10 comments:

  1. It's amazing to me that you are so obedient when half asleep! I'm glad that your honesty and catching yourself count for something, it's hard to remember to NOT do something that you are so used to doing.

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    1. Well, there needs to be a bit of a disclaimer lol. First, I'm not always this obedient. Second, I kinda have no choice -- if he says I'm getting a spanking, I'm getting a spanking. Several times he's woken me up when he's come to bed for me to pay the piper, so I've come to expect that I may as well be ready!

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  2. I really, really enjoy reading about the love and trust you two continue to build. It has become part of my daily routine to check for updates. It's encouraging to this older bird to find others who are so in love with their partners. Thanks so much for sharing with us.

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    1. Thank you so much. I try not to be overly gushy...I'm a hopeless romantic. But honestly this dynamic truly has brought out the best in both of us, and we do continue to build love and trust with one another, on a daily basis. Thank you for your kind words.

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  3. What a sweet post! There is such a feeling of pride & wanting to continue to please him even more that comes over me when my husband calls me "his good girl" which seems to also be the case for you...I also understand that feeling of confusion if a light spanking is given, but I am so glad you didn't end up feeling that way this time-this post really leaves me with a deep feeling of peace, you two are so sweet....
    Love,
    Scarlet ; )

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    1. There really is such a feeling of pride. I love that "good girl!"

      I'm glad you could feel the peace I tried to write about in this post...that peace of knowing you are loved and taken care of!

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