Friday, December 26, 2014

Why He Likes To Spank Me

So the other day, I got myself in trouble. 

I hadn't broken a direct instruction, or even a rule, but I failed to take care of myself and he was not too happy. He told me he'd be giving me stricter expectations the following day and "tonight before bed, you need a good spanking, because you know I'm not pleased with this." 

I knew I needed a good spanking, for so many reasons I couldn't even begin to explain. But I knew I hadn't done what I was supposed to, not taken care of myself, and even though it  wasn't big trouble or hadn't even been intentional disobedience, that's just how we operate. Sometimes, he likes to remind me who's in charge. Somtimes we need to clear the slate. Sometimes he needs to spank me. The reasons are many are varied, but the bottom line is...

I need to be spanked. 

I like to be spanked. 

He needs to spank me. 

He likes to spank me. 

Sometimes, it gets all muddled. Sometimes, the reasons blur. When he says "over my knee," I go. Unless I'm in big trouble (which is incredibly rare), I'm usually eager to lie over his lap.

So the time came, and I had a lot of things on my mind. I wasn't exactly looking forward to being spanked as there was an underlying disciplinary tone, but I was looking forward to the release and the connection. It's hard to explain. 

"Come lie over my lap," he said, and I obeyed. He asked me why I was being spanked, and I told him. As he spanked me quite soundly, he lectured me. 

"The next few days will be busy and you are going to obey me. Am I clear, young lady?" 

Yes, sir. 

"You'll watch your tone and be respectful." 

I will, I promise

"I won't tolerate you losing your temper or any disobedience. You know that?" 

I do

"You do as your told." 

I will

And then being spanked triggered an emotional reaction. That happens, with some regularity, honestly. 

Some of the things on my mind involve issues with my parents. A conversation with my mom had upset me earlier that day...I'll simply say, you never really do get over being rejected by your parents...and I was missing my dad something awful. So even though the spanking Jason gave me was on the smaller side, and wasn't anything like I get when I'm in big trouble -- it was more of a reminder than anything -- I found myself in tears. 

I didn't say anything to him. Not a word. But he finished spanking me, lifted me up, and held me. And he knew. God bless that man, he knew. 

"I'm sorry you're hurting because of your parents," he said. I let it all out. I didn't need to tell him. I didn't need to talk. But a thought flitted through my mind -- a brief thought, that comes from being someone who craves love and attention, who was denied love and attention for so long -- "I know you spank me because you love me," I said. 

He smiled. 

"That's one reason I spank you," he said with a chuckle, and I smiled back, not being upset anymore. 

"Oh yeah?" I asked. "And what's the other reason?" 

He gave me that look. That come-hither-bedroom-eyes look. 

"Because it's fun spanking girls," he said. 

I laughed out loud. 

So there you have it, readers. He spanks me because he loves me and because it's fun to spank girls

Glad to be of service, babe. 

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Just a Little

I long to be held 
Close to your heart
In the palm of your hand
Apart from the world...
Just a little

I long to be cherished
Your one and only
No one else's
Fiercely coveted...
Just a little

I long to be loved
Every inch of me
All I have to give, 
Even the imperfection...
Just a little

I long to be childlike
To delight in the moment 
Find joy in obeying
To give unreservedly

I long to be yours,
Your treasured one...

Just a little

Friday, December 12, 2014

Over His Lap

We began spanking “for fun” long before Jason ever punished me. At the time, I obeyed him even without the threat of punishment, (not at the level I'm expected to now, however) because it was an understanding in our relationship that he was in charge. It was like that from the beginning, a natural fit for us. He led and I followed. So going over his lap was something we both enjoyed because we found it incredibly erotic. A spanking would always be over his lap. He would always use his hand. It wasn't until the day he first punished me than he ever used anything but his hand to spank me. 

Over time, we incorporated more implements into our dynamic. He preferred using implements he found more effective for punishment, so his belt came into use, as well as the hairbrush and a paddle. I preferred other things because – well, I'm a spanko. But still, to this day, if I had my choice I'd choose his hand every single time. It's more intimate. He can give me a hand spanking that takes my breath away that I still feel the next day. But I'm very, very rarely punished with his hand. 

How do we differentiate between a “real” spanking and a sexy one? It's all in the premise. It's all in the motive. I know if he's feeling amorous and he pulls me over his lap, he's doing so because he knows there's nothing that lights me up more than a thorough spanking. If he gives me “the look” and pulls out an implement, chances are I'm in trouble and he always makes sure I know why. Sometimes, he just wants me in my place, which is why every day before he leaves, he pulls me over his knee for at least a few swats – more if I've gotten close to the edge, or I'm struggling and need a reminder of who's in charge. 

But in the beginning, when he punished me, he would put me over the bed. I found his lap reassuring – and he knew this – so to reinforce the punishment aspect, I would never go over his lap. I found this difficult. I disliked being punished, and found the distance when he put me on the bed somehow felt like rejection. So after a while, I went to him. 

“May I ask you a question?” I asked. He nodded and I scooted over to him. I explained how I felt, that I hated being punished, and I would find punishment easier to take if he put me over his lap. He grew stern and explained that the point of punishment wasn't to make me feel good. I understood this, but told him I'd trust him, and that I felt punishment would still be effective. I just wanted to tell him how I felt so he could act accordingly. He nodded, mulling things over, and I didn't bring it up again. I decided I'd submit to whatever he asked. 

But the next time I got in trouble, he ordered me over his lap. It was effective and has the decided benefit of me not being able to fight or get away (gulp).

It is now only times of very, very serious punishment, which is extremely rare, that he puts me over the bed. I actually don't remember the last time I was punished over the bed. Going over his lap is the norm. 

It's hard to explain how I feel when I'm over his lap. It's the most submissive position possible. There's only one position equally submissive and at the risk of sounding crass, I'll simply state it involves being on my knees. I'm not trying to be funny or rude; I truly believe the act of pleasing him in that way is as submissive an act as going over his lap for a spanking. I'll also simply state that our daily check-in that puts me in my place usually involves more than one act of submission. But both positions, both acts, reinforce our roles. 

Every morning, he goes over his expectations with me, by going over my checklist and reinforcing rules. Occasionally, he does this while I'm over his lap, completely bared and vulnerable. 

He loves having me over his lap. He finds it sexy, and it's not uncommon for him to make that clear. I love being there. It's like a trigger for me; the moment my belly hits his knee, any frustration or worry I have flees (unless, of course, I'm about to punished.)  I lay my head on the bed and cross my arms under me. And we'll talk, his hand on my bottom, me vulnerable and submitted, him in his place as my Dominant and I in my place as his Submissive. Sometimes we'll do this before bed after a long day. We always do this before a long day begins. 

I find it deeply erotic, the mere act of lying over his lap. 

It's been a long week this week. I'm cranky and hormonal. I miss my dad. I have so much to do. I was feeling needy last night, wanting stress relief and a chance to reconnect. I hadn't really gotten spanked more than a few swats all week, and I knew I needed more. I have high needs, and though I'll submit and obey to less spanking, I much prefer more when I'm needy, and he wants me to communicate those needs. 

I was tired, and as I crawled into bed, I told him how I felt. I don't always have to tell him how I feel. Often, he knows, and he orders me over his lap for stress relief without me mentioning it. But sometimes the feelings I have – that desire to be submitted to him, to be put in my place, to feel his strength and reassurance – sometimes it doesn't really surface until we're alone, and it's quiet. I just felt...edgy. Unsettled. I told him. 

“Is that right?” he asked. 

“Yes,” I said, pulling the covers back up. He left to get ready for bed without another word, and I started feeling that maybe I could've been more polite in how I approached him. Then, remembering that spanking hurts, I started wondering if maybe all I really needed was a good night's sleep and maybe it would've been wiser to keep my mouth closed. But...too late. He came back in the room.

“Come here,” he said. I sat up, prepared to obey whatever he asked. “Come and lie over my lap.” 

He wasn't angry, or upset, or even stern. He was ready to meet my needs.

He took out the brush. I balked recently when he took out the brush for stress relief. 

“Oooh,” I said, almost involuntarily, “Oh gosh, that really really hurts.” 

“Relax, baby,” he said. “I'm not going to spank you as hard as I do when I punish you. Now over my lap.” 

Over my lap. 

I felt that familiar twisting in me, that deep, dark arousal that sends tingles to my fingertips at his words when I punish you. There's something about him saying that...the sternness, that hearkens back to times I've been soundly punished. It reminds me of how strict he can be, fulfilling his role as my Dominant, bringing my deepest fantasies to fruition. 

I swallowed, placing myself in that place of vulnerability and trust. I think that's why the simple act of placing myself over his knee brings me comfort. I need to trust. I put myself in his hands. 

“Relax, baby,” he said. And he began. Slowly at first. I yelped into the covers. Even when he's letting the brush just drop, it stings like crazy. It's dense and polished, and he can very easily adjust the severity of a spanking with how hard he swings it. I can feel a spanking with the brush for days. It's also one of our most quiet implements, so in many ways it's ideal. Except that...well, it hurts. Oh lawdie, does that thing hurt.

He warmed me up, talking to me, a few small swats, followed by more and more, building up to a sound, though not harsh, spanking. He told me to relax. He paused between swats, his hand on me, massaging softly, and telling me things like It's okay now and relax baby, and I love you.

A cloudy haze began to come over me. My initial fear of a spanking with the brush began to dissipate as he did, indeed, spank less severely than he does for punishment. He pushed me past what I thought I could take, but I was in the place of letting it all go. I was ready to say “I've had enough,” but his response every time is “I'm the one who says you've had enough,” so I took it silently.

I was vaguely aware of him putting the brush down. My mind cleared, my body as limp as a rag doll, at his mercy. He began using his hand, sharp, stinging swats, alternating with soft caresses. Deep, contented sigh. He spanked me until I completely relaxed.


Thoroughly spanked.

All the tension gone. 

Absolute surrender.

Over his lap. 

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Internet Safety (updated)

(This post has been updated at the bottom of the page.)

Recently, on several blog posts, I mentioned in passing that I'm not allowed to read other people's blogs or post comments. When quite a few people, in both comments and e-mails, asked why this is the case, Jason and I both explained that it was an issue of safety. I posted a detailed response in the comment section to one post, and Jason posted his explanation in his post HERE (be warned -- with all due respect to my husband, it's a bit more crass than what I usually post and may offend some conservative readers). 

Jason and I were both a bit surprised that people didn't know online activity can be tracked. We talked it over and thought it would be best to post a thread on internet safety.

Before I begin, I'm aware of the fact that this thread will likely cause people to be reticent in commenting, so I'd like to address my fellow bloggers. I jokingly commented that I could sub-title this post "In which, JGirl never gets another comment again." My dear fellow bloggers -- please understand that I'm not trying to be an alarmist. There are many, many people in the community who are very trusting, and it concerns me. I apologize if my concern causes a lack of dialogue in comments and the like. Comments are fun to get. It is, after all, somewhat disheartening to spend hours writing and get no feedback. It feels like you're talking to yourself. You're not. Keep on blogging. There's a need for others in the community, who are attracted to this alternative lifestyle, to feel understood. The lack of comments doesn't indicate a lack of interest in your blog. For what it's worth, I get maybe one percent feedback -- for every five hundred hits I get to a post, I will likely get less than five comments. So please, don't be discouraged from blogging. If your post helps even one person, it's worth it. 

This all came about because I had some unpleasant experiences here on my blog. I had one person in particular who repeatedly attacked me and Jason. Over, and over again, they attacked and when other readers came to my side, they attacked my readers. At first I set up my blog to moderate comments and would simply delete the nasty ones. But this all began at a time when I was robbed (someone broke into my car), and I was pretty freaked out. I wanted to stop this person from reading my blog. So Jason and I did some research. 

Blogger itself does not allow tracking of IP addresses. Blogger has a limited stat counter. With some behind-the-scenes digging (under the "design" feature at the top of the owner's page), I can easily see where hits are coming from, how many hits in a day, how many comments I get, if people are re-posting or linking to a post, etc. But I can only see if people who have Blogger I.D.'s are posting. That's about as far as Blogger goes. Clearly, people who have malicious intent are going to post anonymously. There is no way through Blogger to track anonymous comments, other than to maybe see how they got to your blog. 

So we looked into other methods. There are many. Statcounter is the one I went with. It's free, it's easy, and literally minutes after hooking my blog up to statcounter, I had detailed information as to who viewed my blog, what they read, where they lived, their IP address, how long they visited, how often, etc. I set this up for the sole purpose of tracking the person attacking us, and I was successful. It was very easy to match the time of the comments to an IP address. I banned that IP address and that was that. 

While I was tracking, I found the stats very interesting and would take an occasional peek through to see which countries readers came from. But out of respect to the privacy of my readers, I stopped looking at any tracking information after I was able to block the attacker. However, for my own safety reasons, I still have my blog linked to statcounter, in case anything like this happens again. 

This wasn't all that happened, however. Other issues came up as well. I do not want to cause suspicion to fall on any one person; nor do I want to violate any confidentiailty. So I will speak in very general terms. These are some of the things that have happened that I, and likely many of you, though not all, have become aware of. 

Men in the community posing as women, garnering private information, establishing trust, and violating that trust. One person posing as a "couple," also establishing trust and getting money from people with sales of books, affiliate links, and network fees. Several people creating false identities, forming friendships, only to violate those friendships. There have been cases when some of these people actually raised money for a "cause." Who knows what they did with that money raised. Men posing as Doms, even establishing relationships with submissives, only to rob them of their money and leave them penniless and heartbroken. Men posing as women who are prominent members of the blogging community. 

Why do people do this? Maybe they get a rise out of it. Some do it under the guise of "research." Some are just creepers. But some have much more dangerous motives. So please, be careful. And from your own persective, try not to get offended if people don't want to share their personal information. It is wise not to be trusting.

My blog has been linked to porn sites. I've received offensive, vulgar e-mails, have been propositioned, and even received financial offers from porn sites who want to link to my blog and give me an affiliate link. No, thank you. 

This is all to say...please, proceed with caution. This is why Jason doesn't allow me to read or comment on blogs. This is why my access to the DD community is severely limited. 

Jason and I are a very real couple. But we're a couple just like you. I am a submissive, and he is my dominant. I am also a writer, so sharing our experiences comes fairly naturally to me. That is why we blog, to give a real-life glimpse into a d/s dynamic. But we have a family, and we need to protect our family's safety. Although we have a very small number of real life friends and family who know about our lifestyle, we mostly keep it private. Friends and family do not know I blog. It really is a shame we have to be so secretive, but it is what it is. 

My personal belief is that most people are good. But you really never know who isn't. It is also my personal belief that the truth always outs in time. So please, readers. Be safe. There is no need to rush into trusting someone. Take your time, and be cautious.

Someone asked how to post on blogs without being able to be tracked. I'm not sure about that, but I can tell you that it is more difficult to track mobile devices than personal computers and email is a safer way of communicating. 

Please, feel free to share this post. It is admirable to be a trusting person, but this is one area where I would caution you to be very careful. If anyone has any further information for readers, please comment in the section below or send me an email at

Be safe, people. 

Jason and Jason's Girl

It's come to my attention that some readers took the main point of this post to be that it's never safe to post on any blogs, anonymously or not. That wasn't my point at all. My point is that the internet is not a safe place, and in the interest of being safe, please use discretion when posting. Some people are absolutely trustworthy. I've made some really amazing friends in the community. I'm not suggesting not to trust anyone -- I'm merely suggesting we use caution online, as sometimes things aren't as safe as they may seem. Once we know what the possible dangers are, we can act accordingly. 

To answer some questions that were raised: 
Incognito browers do not prevent your IP address and location from being shown to websites you visit; they merely prevent your visits being recorded in your history. 

Clearing your history only removes a "cookie" on your computer. This does nothing to hide your online activity from websites you visited. 

Proxy servers and other anonymous browsing options are available, which block websites from viewing your location; please read comments below for more details.