Lately, my head has very much been in the DD line of things. Between my discussions with OSL (both privately and personally), and my own musings, I've been mulling...about DD, how it helps me, and how things play out differently here than they did before.
I know that D/S has transformed our marriage. But sometimes, when I'm in the thick of it, I want to probe. I want to know why. I want to ask myself how we've gotten to where we are, and where we're going. I like to know the answer to these things, which is one reason I like to blog about it all. And I asked myself this week, if we stopped D/S, where would that leave us? I know we'd still be very much in love. I know I could still grow, and so could he, and we'd still be close.
But as I was mulling, I got myself into a bit of hot water, and things became very clear to me. I'll explain.
There was a time when I had health rules, and they became a bit too overwhelming for me. They were lifted. But recently, the time came where I felt it I was ready for more accountability in this area. I'd already adopted so many other habits, had already reached a place where obedience to Jason is natural. So I asked Jason, and he agreed. And I must say, it's been nearly a month now that I've had my new health rules that I am held accountable for, and it's really made a huge difference.
Well, one of my rules is that I need to take my daily supplements. I have a small assortment of supplements I take. If I don't take them, it affects my overall wellbeing -- my sleep, my mood, my energy levels. So I'm required to take them every day, no exceptions.
But I'm a busy person. I forget things. And one day this week, I was distracted and thought at one point take your supplements. It didn't happen. Later that evening, when Jason and I were having our evening check-in, he asked me if I'd done everything expected of me, and I mentioned to him that I hadn't taken them yet. He told me take your supplements. Do not forget. Again, I got distracted.
Well. I forgot.
And the next morning it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. Shoot.
"I forgot my supplements yesterday," I told Jason. I got "the look" and a curt nod.
"That's one of your rules. You know what happens if you break a rule."
Yep. I do. There was not much else for me to say.
Up he went, over I went, and he began reminding me why we have this rule. "You know I expect you to take care of yourself. I have these rules for you for a reason. You disobeyed me when I told you to take them, and I expect you to do what I say."
In the grand scheme of things, it was a small infraction, I know. Certainly nothing like breaking a safety rule or being disprespectful to him, but he's consistent, and this is one of my rules.
So, he spanked me.
It was a humbling experience. And after he spanked me, he stood me up and reminded me that I would not forget my supplements that day.
So I did what I had to do. I found an app to remind me. I set it up to work with my schedule. I made sure my supplements were in a visible location. And I've been taking my supplements faithfully ever since. Sucess.
When I reported back to Jason, he hugged me, kissed my cheek, smiled, and said, "Ah, that's my good girl."
And I melted.
Now, why am I relating this incident? I want to explain how things could've gone if I hadn't been accountable to Jason for this.
I would've thought to myself I forgot my supplements. And then I would've thought better make sure I take those. I may or may not have set a reminder for myself. I could've easily forgotten the next day, and the next. Ok...that is what I used to do before I was accountable to Jason. I'd simply neglect doing something I needed to do. I could've easily gone a week or two and not taken my supplements.
But that's not what happened. I knew without a doubt that if I forgot two days in a row, after I'd already been disciplined for forgetting, I'd be in serious trouble. I did not want to have to tell him that I'd skipped them again.
If I hadn't been accountable to him, I wouldn't have made it as high a priority as I did.
I wouldn't have had the humbling experience of correction that motivated me to take better care of myself.
And I wouldn't have had the experience of his approval and praise when I took the steps to make my health goals habit. I wouldn't have had the hug, the kiss, and the blessing of Good Girl that warms me to my core.
This is why we do what we do. This is why it works. A small example in the grand scheme of things, yes, but this served as a vivid reminder to me, an illustration, if you will, as to why this works for us.
What are your experiences, readers? Do you agree that the added motivation of consequences and accountability help you prioritize better? How do you feel you benefit from the component of accountability and consequences?