Ahhh. I am so ready to blog about Dominance and Submission and all that again! ;) Really, I've missed the whole process of writing all of this, and though the past few weeks have been a whirlwind, I'm eager to return to a sense of normalcy.
I thought I'd put up a bit of a check-in post here and ease back into weekly blogging this coming Sunday.
Things are going fantastic with me and Jason. As I'm typing, the floor beneath my feet is shaking because he's jamming hard on his guitar. We are preparing to go away soon, and he's flat out busy at work. That means that tonight, he came straight home and we skipped the evening check-in (it was very late) and after dinner he went to play his guitar. But check-in is on the horizon and boy do I need it. I'm thankful he knows it, too. He says tonight, but I'm hoping I can stay awake.
Because that's reality. I check in with him daily, twice a day, but we are raising an energetic, rambunctious crew of kiddos here. At this very moment, they are all playing Wii on the other side of the house and I can hear the shrieks and laughter. If the shrieks get to be not-nice shrieks, I'll have to put this down and go see to them! But, so far so good.
I've had four or five people ask me in the past few weeks how everything gets done. How can we raise a family, and spend as much time with one another as we do, and still find time for everything else? The simple answer is, Jason holds me accountable to a schedule, and my schedule really helps. The vast majority of the way we interact with one another isn't secret at all – he's the one who calls the shots and I obey him. But other parts – check in's, my kneeling, the frequent spanking and occasional discipline – that's all discreet. I've been asked to blog more about my schedule, so, I'll share more on that for those who are interested soon.
The books coming out are fun, and Jason told me he's proud of me. It's been a long time coming, so I do appreciate all of your patience while this is all falling into place. I've got many more books I'm working on, steadily, and it's a lot of work but he's happily spanking me toward my goal! But, I'm eager to turn the focus of this blog back to Dominance and Submission, the romantic side, the struggles we face and how we overcome them, and all that jazz.
This morning I was getting ready for the day and boy did I need a check-in. Badly. He called me to him and on my knees I went, and I wrapped my arms around his waist and he held me. I needed it. There's much on my mind lately, a great deal that I find revving me up, and I really needed that physical connection.
“Let's hear your rules, baby,” he said, and I told him, one by one, repeated what he expects me to, and on the last rule, he kissed me – hard and forceful and gosh, I love that. The physical connection is something I find so fulfilling – his hand on me in the middle of the night, or while we're in the car, a touch on the small of my back or the wrap-around hug from behind while I'm cooking dinner, even the inevitable swat I get every flippin' time I come in the house and he's behind me.
We talked about a few things this morning, and I forget what we talked about but I do remember he grinned. I love his grin. His eyes get all crinkly around the edges and he looks almost boyish when he grins. Then before you know it, he was patting his lap. He had his trusty “magic wand” as he calls it. I stood, and he gestured for me to unbutton my jeans. Down they came and over I went.
It's like taking a deep breath, or a meditative exhaling. When I place myself over his lap, tension leaves my body.
“You've got a lot on your mind,” he said.
I flinched a bit as his wand connected with bare skin. It stings, quite intensely, and it's sobering as he continues with the reminder of my rules obedience, the rhythmic swish and thud landing one after another.
“But you'll stay on track and do what I ask you. You'll watch your attitude, and focus on your plan. And if you need me, you come to me.”
Now, he's not always available when I need him, but I'm supposed to message or call him and it does help.
It's more like a switching or caning than anything, but delivered firmly and slowly, it takes me just over what I can take, and that's where I need to be. Soon, he placed the rod down and landed a few hard, sound wallops of his hand on my bare skin. The breath hissed out of me but I love that physical connection at the end of a spanking.
He continued to talk about my day as he rubbed my bare bottom, then lifted me to my feet and righted me. There's a chore I thought I did sufficiently but it hadn't met his approval, so before we were done, he sternly reminded me he expected it done when he came home.
I told him I'd have it done. He fixed me with one of those formidable looks and simply said, “See to it that you do.”
And, I did.
And that was my day. He finished at work late, and we had a simple dinner, I cleaned up the dishes, he's playing guitar and the kids are playing Wii. Soon, he'll take our youngest two upstairs. He does the bedtime ritual and will get them ready for bed. He'll read them stories and I love that. I often sit nearby or lie down with them as he reads. He does the voices and all. Then off to bed with them, and we'll each sit with a little one while they go to sleep. Our older children will follow, and I'll try my best to stay up so he and I can connect again.
But maybe I'll fall asleep, and that's okay. Because today, I did my very best. Today, it wasn't all perfect or picturesque, but there's beauty in the day to day. There's joy in the grin he gives me because he loves me, the laughter of my children and even the messes and struggles. Things don't always fall into place, and it's not a fantasy that we live. Struggles are hard, but there's always something to be thankful for.
Today I am thankful for my crazy children and bossy husband, the support and love of friends, and sunny days ahead. Today, I'm thankful he calls me his rascal and grins at me, and I'm thankful that he tells me to “see to it” that I obey him and will haul me over his lap when I fail. Today, I'm thankful for all of your support, and that I'm back to blogging. And I sincerely hope this post finds you all well.