Sunday, March 13, 2016

In Praise of Hand Spanking

Apologies to those who may have already read this little post, as I posted it at my writer's blog first. I didn't want you all to miss out on this lovely picture, so I thought I'd post it here, too. ;) Actually, the picture is *quite* nice, I just have much to do returning to normal after vacation and no more time to blog, so here goes! 





So, I'm sort of into spanking. Ok, scratch that. I'm thoroughly addicted to spanking. I love to be spanked. I read spanking books and write spanking books and happily bare my ass to my husband with ridiculous frequency. He hauls me over his lap at least once a day, and I quite honestly do not tire of it. Ever. And because we usually need to be quiet and don't always have the entire house to ourselves, I'm often spanked with a quiet implement.



Quiet implements are not really very fun. Have you ever heard of anyone waxing eloquent on the joys of a caning, or a switching? I suppose it's possible, but even a diehard spanko like me doesn't find them to be the best of the spanking options. Now, for a girl who likes and even needs to be spanked, the quieter things are certainly worthwhile. I would rather be spanked with a quiet implement than not spanked at all, so the quieter things stay.



A while ago my husband pulled out an implement and I sort of frowned and sighed and he said, “I know, baby. You like being spanked with my hand. And some day, when we have this whole house to ourselves, that's all I'll ever use.”

 I'm holding him to that.


What is it about a hand spanking? Ah. It's intimate. So intimate. There's something about that skin-to-skin contact that is deeply, immensely satisfying. It leaves a sting and burn that literally no other implement leaves. As a diehard spanko married to a man who loves to spank, I've savored the feel of many different implements – the sting of a wooden paddle, the swish and thud of the quieter switchy things, the zing and sensual smack of leather...but there is literally nothing that feels like the hand.



I've heard many question a hand spanking, questioning whether it's effective? Hell yeah, a hand spanking can hurt. There are certain techniques for delivering a hand spanking that are effective, and my husband knows all of them. I can't really say I know what he does except that even a few swats with his hand can take my breath away. Hell, a hand spanking delivered hard enough can even welt. A few months ago, we saw something on Facebook and there was a woman with a perfect impression of a handprint on her ass. My man spent weeks perfecting his technique until he was able to deliver a good, hard smack that results in the perfect red handprint left on my ass. Heh heh. Lucky me.



He's given me over-the-knee hand spankings that I've felt literally all day long, and some I've even still felt the next day. Hand spankings are not wimpy. They can be very, very effective (especially – gah! If delivered in the same spot repeatedly...).



You see, one of the things that draws me to spanking to begin with is the intimacy factor. It's just the two of us, alone, and there's vulnerability in placing myself over his knee. I've been laid over the bed and paddled, and stood against a wall and strapped, bent over the arm of a couch and spanked, or made to touch my toes and switched. And all of the above is satisfying in some way because, as I may have mentioned once or ten times, I'm a diehard spanko.



But nothing is like an over-the-knee hand spanking. When my belly touches his lap, I sigh. He bares me and I tremble. He often places his large, warm hand on my naked skin and talks to me before he spanks me. Depending on the nature of the spanking, what he says varies, but that intimate prelude to a spanking is utterly humbling, sexy, and moving. That first swat and my skin burns, the warmth spreads, and the feel reaches to my core. Every single time he's done spanking me, no matter what he's used, he ends with a thorough massage with his hand. It seals the session, and makes me feel loved and cared for, bringing home that intimacy as he murmurs things like, “That's my good girl,” or, “I love you, baby.”



The other night we returned home from vacation and I craved stress relief. He was happy to oblige, and when the whole house was asleep but us, he had me lock our bedroom door and fetch the acrylic rod, his “go to” because it's quiet, effective, and very easy to regulate. But he didn't just use that. He alternated, several rounds with his hand until my skin was aflame, as I lay prostrate over his lap in bed, vulnerable, in desperate need of releasing my pent-up emotions and stress, and with his hand he laid me bare. I sniffled and wept and just let it all out. I was not sad, or sorry, but needed a good, cleansing cry, and the whole experience was beautifully cathartic. Centering. When he was done, he pulled me off his lap and held me, then tucked me in. I slept like a baby.



I like all manners and flavors of spankings, but in my humble opinion, simply nothing beats the classic.











27 comments:

  1. Not all women are alike. Some women, especially those not into erotic spanking, find being spanked by hand to be something that is endured rather than a mind-changing event the require.

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    1. Oh, for sure. In no way am I implying that my fascination with hand spanking means that everyone who likes to be spanked enjoys it. I know for many they don't.

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    2. Your response points out another big change in attitudes toward spanking that has occurred since the 1970s.

      It wasn't until almost three decades after my first exposure to the internet in the late 1960s that I came across women claiming to like being spanked. Of course, they'd been around me all along. On separate occasions in the 1960s, two women even used positioning themselves over my lap as a way of getting me into bed with them. Yet, as one of those women eventually revealed, there was another more necessary dimension to what was then known as wife spanking.

      Although Friedrich Nietzsche's infamous quote has since been twisted into a pretzel by later generations, the seductress was one of several women in my youth to reveal the fairer sex needs something firmer than a man's hand on her bare bottom if she is going to respect him. One of those has my wife for the past half century.

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    3. I think part of the reason that women maybe weren't as vocal or "self actualized" with their interest in spanking is because many men were naturally dominant before the sexual revolution in the sixties and seventies. Certainly there were areas in which things did need to improve regarding women's rights. But in our efforts to gain equality, I suspect we gained equality in areas some of us would have preferred not to -- namely, authority within a romantic relationship. I know that decades ago it was natural for a woman to obey her husband and natural for a man to assume the role of head of the house. These days, it is not as common for a man to be the head of the house, so when he demonstrates his dominance with a spanking, the primal part of a woman that craves the feel of a firm hand is naturally attracted to that.

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    4. With one notable exception I tend agree. Wives have always lost respect for husbands unable to control them.

      In an effort to combat this natural and socially destructive tendency, laws and traditions prior to the Sexual Revolution tended to reinforce male dominance.

      Movies and television shows of the era also reflected this bias. A classic example was the title Father Knows Best. Begun as a radio program in the 1940s, Father Knows Best moved to television in the mid-1950s before ceasing production at the end of that decade.

      Likewise, other male dominated programming filled the airways during the period. Women only played subordinate roles on the Western genre of television programming throughout the 1950s. Even cowboy shows intended for younger audiences, such as Hopalong Cassidy and Roy Rogers, occasionally contained explicit references to badly behaved or rude women being spanked by men.

      Domestic spanking only drew widespread controversy after feminist-inspired public policy attempted to neuter traditional male dominance in homes.

      While "wife beating" had long been recognized as a crime punishable by law, spanking remained a permissible exception until the 1970s. For example, in my early teens, I witnessed one of my relatives get bent over and properly spanked by her husband. Neither the wife nor her mother, who also witnessed the spanking, called the police.

      Then, with the creation of the "domestic violence" label in the mid-1970s, a spate of protective legislation soon followed. Almost overnight, any man that dared raise his hand became perceived as threats to women and children!

      Only recently have relatively large numbers of people begun to rethink society's all too hasty abandonment of spanking. One reason, as J Girl suggests, eons of "primal" urges for male dominance still lurk in the feminine psyche.

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  2. That was the sweetest ever... And where can I (or rather my man) find out about those secret hand spanking techniques?

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    1. I will ask the boss. I know it has something to do with cupping his hand... and I do know that when I'm by his side and he tips me over and whacks my bottom with his hand while I'm lying next to him, something about the angle or whatever, it hurts wayyyyy bad!

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  3. Hey Jgirl,
    I feel exactly like you, hand spanking is my favorite too. I smiled where you mentioned his hand hitting the same spot. Boy, I know how effective that can be.
    Hugs,
    Joli,

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    1. You smiled?? Joli, you were supposed to cringe LOL.

      It is not easy and I know you know!!

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  4. Hand spanking is top of my list! Not that it's a huge list, I might add. Sometimes, there isn't much time between a spank and a caress, I love how that mixes things up in my head.

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    1. I completely understand. I don't have a very long list either, but hand spanking takes the cake. And I do so love the intermingling of spank and caress!

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  5. Very good article! Thank you.

    I agree that hand spanking is the best as far as the connection and the feel of it. There is nothing like the intimacy involved in an over-the-knee hand spanking. There is a special connection with her body over my lap, the feel of her movement, the feel of my hand on her bare bottom.

    Unfortunately, I don't give hand spankings too often, both because of the noise and because I think an instrument gives a sounder punishment than a hand can provide. But they are a favorite.

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    1. Yes, there absolutely is a special connection!

      Fortunately, only a very small fraction of the spankings I get are punishment spankings. Other than a few hard swats as a reminder, Jason does not use his hand to punish me, either.

      As for Jason's perspective, he definitely enjoys using his hand over most other implements, though he really enjoys using his belt, too.

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  6. JGirl, I have only ever had a spanking and also a little fun with a belt. I loved both. I really feel the hand spanking is so intimate. I feel connected to him. I, too, love spankings and wish I could get one every day!

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    1. I am very very thankful he spanks me every day and feel "off" if we have to miss a day. But sometimes I wish we had time or privacy for a longer session! Ours are mostly pretty short.

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  7. Another stunning (or should I say, stinging)article by JGirl. Thank you. I have to confess, when I first started out in this D/s world many years ago, I was enamored with all sorts of implements and I didn't have faith in my husband's ability to deliver a sound hand spanking that would connect with me. I was so wrong. Not only can I feel it the next day or the day after, there is emotion and clarity of expectation communicated in no other way than when "the hand speaks". In my world, erotic or punishment always involves some hand spanking even if it means muffling the noise with pillows and bed sheets. It is my husband's preferred implement.

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    1. Thank you so much, Jo!

      When we first began, Jason's hand spanking were usually pretty wimpy and my tolerance was crazy-high. He's gotten better and I've gotten wimpier! But yes, there's something about the hand spanking that drives the point home now!

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  8. J Girl

    Another fantastic post by one of the best bloggers on the net!!

    Rick

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    1. Rick, I am honored. Thank you! :)

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  9. Definitely one of the very best on the net. Well written, real, and meaningful.

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    1. Thank you! Truly, I'm so thankful for my readers' support and praise. It keeps me going!

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  10. Oh, this was lovely! Thank you for this post.

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    1. Thank you! And you're very welcome!

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  11. I'm right there with you. We don't have the luxury of kids free yet---sigh with college and young adults with college loans and first jobs, we still have kids at home (sorry--it's longer than 18 years), we tend to go to implements unless we have a kids free night--but he's hesitant. I think....no I know, he feels somehow like HE'S hurting me, which, oddly is EXACTLY what I want LOL. I have sent him this post, so he can see it from a different point of view, that's not just mine :) Thank you for saying what we all think and feel....it's much appreciated.

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    1. It's hard when you have to work around having kids in the mix. It's maybe why so many people don't do this until their kids are grown! I adore raising my children and wouldn't want to fast forward anything, but it adds a layer of complexity for sure.

      I know exactly what you mean, trying to bridge that gap between him giving what you need but not wanting to hurt you, but you wanting to real feel it! I'm glad you sent it to him, and I hope it helps you both find a happy medium!

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  12. A hand is simply the most natural spanking implement. I absolutely love the feeling of my husband's strong masculine hand spanking my helpless bottom! It's a very consuming and sensational feeling!

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