Hello, and happy Sunday! It feels like a long time since I've blogged, but I guess it's only been two weeks. I've missed blogging!
This has been one crazy week. First, I came back from a trip that was pretty intense – five days apart from Jason and the kids, and a three hour time difference. It was a great trip (writing conference) but boy was I beat. I came home to kids and a hubby that were oh so happy to see me, and that was lovely. But, I had a lot of things to do here when I got back, and got thrown right into a super busy week. I set a really high writing goal and have been working hard. Yesterday, I finally had to take a real break and I did a lot of vegging. Jason is really serious about me not working myself too hard, and I want to avoid that before he has to step in. So, I did, and I'm glad I did.
I was asked before I left, by several of you, how things would work while I was apart from him. I wasn't quite sure myself, as it's been over a year since I've been separated from him overnight, and even then, it was only for one brief night (and HARD). This was nearly five whole days and 3,000 miles. He would've much preferred I stay close to him rather than go that far away, but he's fully supportive of my writing and this trip was so amazing. Besides the actual conference part, where we took workshops on the craft and trade, and we listened to writers talk about the genre, one of the funnest parts of this trip was that I was able to spend a great deal of time with four other writers who write spanking fiction. When else will I get the chance to have drinks with my people? It was truly a blast! I came home renewed, inspired, and exhausted.
So, what did Jason do while I was gone? First, kudos to the man for holding down the fort with my kids. He cooked for them, kept the house picked up, did the whole shebang while I was gone, and without complaint. Sainthood, I tell ya. But as for our relationship? He was on me. When I woke up in the morning, we would talk on the phone. He had me do our check-in's, going over the rules. I was rooming with Maisy who knows our dynamic quite well, so when I would pick up a call for him, she'd graciously leave the room and shut the door and say something like “I'll leave you two alone now.” One day he had me step out on the balcony and after he went over all my rules he said, “And what happens if you disobey?”
“I get a spanking.”
“Say that again? I didn't hear you.” (gah!)
“I get a spanking.”
“One more time, baby.”
Throughout the day while I was breaking for lunch and the like, we would check in with one another. He texted me frequently, tucked me into bed with a good night talk and “I love you.” He even texted me a picture of an implement and told me he was waiting for me. I didn't break any rules or get in trouble. I had the time of my life. I networked. I learned a ton. I brainstormed a whole new series to write with friends. I consider myself incredibly blessed to be immersed in a career that's my passion. The trip was amazing, truly.
One morning, I woke up early, before Maisy, and was seriously longing for Jason. Our physical distance seemed unbearable. I knew that I'd be okay once the day started and I got busy again. And I was. But I did cry a bit and chat with a friend who was awake. It helped. She told me to put on a brave face (::waves to Megan M. Thank you! You have no idea how much you helped me!::), and that I'd have an awesome time, that very soon I'd be back home with Jason.
There's no way around it. D/s brings you closer. It just does. Being apart is painful. I know of truly no exception to the rule. But it makes it that much nicer when you reunite.
When I came home, I was so happy to be home. Jason was awesome. He told me to rest, and wasted, uh, no time in getting me alone and having his way with me, which included a good spanking, among other things. I took a nap, and later, he took us all out to dinner. It was the very best way to re-connect. But the very next morning? Boy was I not in my place.
I'm not really sure there was one reason, but rather a whole pile. Being on my own for a few days? Nearly a week without spanking? Overwhelmed with getting back into the routine? All I know was that he told me not to do something and I just spun right out of our bedroom and ignored him. Yikes. Bad call there. I knew it when I did it but didn't care. I came back upstairs a short time later with my tail between my legs, knowing I was going to pay dearly.
He was waiting for me in bed, arms across his chest, glaring at me.
“Did you just disobey me?”
I had to nod.
“Did you just do exactly what I told you not to do?”
Sigh. I had. Very shortly after this, over the knee I went and I got one helluva spanking. “I fully expected I'd have to put you back in your place when you got back, little girl,” he said later. “But I've gotta admit, I didn't think it would be that quick.” Yikes.
So, I got a good, hard spanking, and he announced it's time to up the ante a bit. That surprised me at first, because it's hard to imagine him upping it that much more at times. It's been nice, though. He's been very strict with me this week, sending me to bed early several times, spanking me good and hard several times (and I needed it). He's been very attentive, and involved in all that I had on my mind. He even took Monday off from work just to help me adjust to being back home. In short, the distance apart was a bit challenging, but mostly, we were able to pick right up because truthfully, we never really left off.
I needed him to Dom me hard when I got back home, but you know what? I truly believe he needed it as much as I did. We were both much happier to be reunited, and both much happier when our dynamic was brought to the forefront.
This morning, I was snuggling up to him in bed.
“It's hard, isn't it?” he asked.
“What's that?” I said.
“Being vulnerable like this. I could hurt you at any time, and I don't just mean spank you. You need to really trust me.”
I nodded. He was right. And I love that he understands all that.
“Yes,” I said. “But I do trust you.”
And that's why this works for us. That's why we are both so happy in our dynamic. It is hard. Hard to trust him, to become vulnerable, and put myself in his care. It's hard for him to put down what he wants to do and tend to my many needs. But knowing I can trust myself to him, and knowing he cherishes my trust means the world to me. He, in turn, knowss I think the world of him.
And that, my friends, is why this works.