Hello, readers, time for a check in post. I hope this post finds all of you well. Looks like my Sunday posts have morphed into Monday posts! September is a busy month and the past week here was crazy. We had unexpected overnight guests for four nights. I released a second historical book (details in the side bar). I was also hormonal (eep!). But we survived, even if I did get spanked a time or two. Is it possible to get spanked good and hard when you have guests over? Why yes, yes it is, with silent implements and a blanket shoved into your mouth. Ahem.
So an interesting thing has happened. We're nearing our four year DD anniversary, and I've been blogging now for three. In the past six months or so, many of you have written to me, and the majority of you are baby girls. As we get to know each other, many of those who write to me confess that you really, really want to call your man Daddy. So I've come to the conclusion that the flavor of this blog appeals to many who crave a Daddy Dom/little girl (DD/lg) dynamic.
I talked it out with Jason. You see, I've been calling Jason “Daddy” for years, but don't talk about it on the blog because Jason preferred I keep it quiet. Within the DD/lg community, there is a great deal of age play, and Jason has a strong personal aversion to age play. Plus, we try to write to a larger D/s audience, and we've been judged quite harshly within the D/s community for the Daddy thing. Some love it. Some respect it. But there's a stigma involved.
I'm at the point where frankly, I don't give a damn who likes what we do or who we are. As I get to know the D/s writing community more (what a phenomenal group of people!) I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin. With Jason's permission, I've given some of my books to my family and friends. His cousin and my sisters now know my pen name, and read my books. It's clear when you read my books what I like, and it's also clear if you put my books together with knowing me and Jason that we're into this. Everyone, without exception, has been tremendously supportive.
So I talked it over with Jason, and he said it was okay to blog about the Daddy Dom/little girl aspect to our relationship. Today I'm going to tell you about why I call Jason Daddy. Some of you may not like it and some may not read here anymore, and I respect that. But I also think Daddy Doms are widely misunderstood, and I also think that a submissive unearthing her own craving for a DD/lg dynamic is hugely freeing. So here and there, I'm going to blog about this dynamic. How we came to this. Why it's such a good fit. What makes it distinct from other D/s relationships. Things like that.
About three years ago, I was chatting with a D/s friend, and she explained to me about Daddy Doms. At the time, it was a whole new concept to me. I read about it and realized that yes, it was a very good fit for us, but we were new, and I was afraid of freaking Jason out, so I kept it to myself.
A few months later, I was reading a blog written by Lilli over at Becoming Baby Girl. She was detailing an exchange between her and her husband, and in this exchange, she said Yes, Daddy.
Out of the blue, it hit me hard. I was overcome with emotion. I wanted that.
Jason was lying next to me in bed and I couldn't hold it back from him anymore. The conversation went something like this.
“There's something I need to tell you, but I'm afraid to. I think you're gonna freak out and I don't want you to freak out.”
He gave me the one eyebrow raised look. “Oh? Well, I won't freak out. Promise. Tell me what it is.”
Jason grew more serious. “Yes, you can. Now tell me.”
I took a deep breath and blurted out, “I read about this thing...and...some submissives call their dominants Daddy and...I really really want to do that. Badly.”
He didn't freak out. He simply said, “Then do it.”
This shocked me. I was prepared for him to say no way, no how, but not only was he fine with it, he insisted on it.
“I can't!” I protested.
I'd already been taught to obey him at this point, so finally I put my head on his chest, closed my eyes tight and said, “Yes, Daddy.”
It felt so good. I know, a small thing, right? But I cried. I actually cried. It felt so nice. I broke that barrier, and he hugged me and said, “Good girl. I want you to keep calling me Daddy. I'm going to insist on this.” He knew I needed this.
So, I did. At first, it was only when we were alone, and in bed. To my shock, we both found this attractive. So over the past few years, I've tried to get to the bottom of the why, because that's what I do. I like knowing why. So I've researched and read, and dabbled in various communities. And I've come to many conclusions.
First, there's nothing at all parental about calling a dominant partner “Daddy.” It's just a term of endearment, stemming from a desire to be taken care of, to feel safe, and protected. It's no different from the way a Latino man may call his wife “mama,” or a guy would call his lover “baby.” It doesn't mean they are his actual mother or baby. It's a term of endearment. It's a sweet way of saying, “I'm safe with you. You're stronger than I am. You love me. I trust you to take care of me. With you, I don't have to pretend to be anyone I'm not.”
Baby girls like me crave not only the attention and discipline of a strong authority figure, but we also want accountability. We want to grow. We want to be protected, and taken care of.
Daddy Doms love hearing the word “Daddy” come from their baby girls. It shows that they are trusted. It shows that their submissive partner feels safe. And let's be honest...for some of us? The taboo aspect of it is just really, really hot.
So over time, Jason and I grew to really love exploring the Daddy Dom/little girl dynamic and how it fits for us. I'm a baby girl...not really a little. Some enjoy exploring age play, but I don't. I do love certain aspects of being a baby girl, though, like being tucked into bed, having my hair brushed, or sitting on his lap. Sometimes he braids my hair.
Before bed at night, nearly every single night, Jason says, “Come tell Daddy about your day,” and I melt. When things are busy around here, or I've had a long day, and we haven't had time together, I crave calling him Daddy. We close the door, I climb into his lap or onto his chest, snuggle up and just say, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” He usually chuckles and says things like, “Soak up your Daddy, little one.” Swoon.
It's just a unique flavor. We all have our own takes on things, our own ways of making our dynamic completely unique, tailor-fit to meet the needs of one another. For us, that means he's trained me to obey him intuitively. He expects immediate obedience and complete trust. For us, that means we're not really into heavy BDSM, but very much into the exchange of power. For us, that means I'm his little girl, and he's my Daddy Dom. I trust him. He looks out for me. I go to him for moral guidance, support, and accountability. He relishes my trust.
He calls me little one, and I call him Daddy.