Sunday, April 16, 2017

Hope and renewal

I wish a very Happy Easter to those of you who celebrate Easter, and for those of you who don't, I hope this post finds you well. 

I skipped the past two weeks posting, but only one was intentional. Last week I had a hard deadline and was working my fingers off trying to meet it (that was the unintentional skip) and the week before was my birthday. :) I took the day (mostly) offline, and it was simply lovely. Aren't birthday spankings delicious? It truly is the best part of getting older, that my birthday spanking gets longer! 

Even though today is a holiday, I'm up early before the rest of my house is. This is when I do the majority of my writing, in the early morning quiet. It is lovely here as spring has finally sprung. It was a long time coming, a chilly early spring, and then finally, finally, it happened. As I write, birds are chirping out the window, and I feel hopeful and at peace. 

I love this time of year...this time of renewal, of second chances, and rebirth. So I thought today that I'd offer my perspective on how Jason and I occasionally need to do what my friend calls "pressing the reset button." Sometimes, we get pulled apart from one another. I think it's the natural order of things with a busy family, and jobs, and demands, that we don't always give our relationship the time and attention it deserves. Sometimes things come up that affect our ability to communicate clearly, and misunderstandings happen. Several of these things culminated at once on Friday, and Jason and I got into a bit of an argument. 

It was a pretty standard argument. This time, he started out in the wrong (his words, not mine), and said some things in the heat of the moment he didn't really mean. My temper flared a bit, and I snapped back, and before you know it, we were alone and he said I was in trouble. I was quiet, then, because I didn't think he was being quite fair. I explained myself, and Jason -- dominant though he is -- stopped me to apologize. He specifically said, "you were right, and I was wrong." We both apologized, but didn't have any time alone with each other for a few more hours yet. 

When we were alone, he shut and locked the door, and I fell to my knees by the bed, very eager to be right with him again. We both knew what needed to happen. He decided was not going to punish me, because he was in the wrong, and I (mostly) had kept my temper in check. I accepted that. He held me between his knees, up against his chest, and we talked briefly. "I'm sorry, daddy," I said, and he apologized, too, then ordered me over his lap. Over I went. I was not punished. This was a "reset" spanking. I needed to be put back in my place, where I'm happiest -- he as my leader, and I submitted to him. This is where we thrive. And after a bit of discord, there is nothing (save maybe some really sweet intimacy) that gets us back in our places like some reconnection. Since we were alone, he used his hand, and I cried a bit. It's emotionally upsetting to me when we have friction, and it's a relief when he puts me back in my place. Both sometimes cause me to cry. 

Hope. Renewal. Reconnection. This time of year is my favorite because I feel all the things that have held me back -- my own selfish proclivities, regret, sadness -- can be cast away as we move toward a new beginning. 

Don't struggles come up for us all? Don't we all come to a point sometimes where we think "I want to do better," or "I wish we could have a fresh start." For me and Jason, a good session over his knee is often what gets us both back to "good." 

Sometimes, things are a bit more serious. Sometimes, major changes happen that cause flagrant discord. What, then? 

Find a thread of hope when you can. Regular readers of this blog may know by now that I'm mostly an optimist. I prefer to choose to see things in a positive light when I can. If you are struggling, take heart. It is in the struggle where growth happens. 




Maisy and I are preparing to launch the sixth Boston Doms book in a few weeks, and it is a book filled with so much hope. The main characters have come from painful pasts and overcome so many obstacles. There is one line in the book that I think is fitting here.

"Violets and indigo crocuses poked through thick layers of pine needles and dead leaves, and vibrant, spiky green ferns grew along the edges of rocks and tree roots, reminders that even in darkness, hope blooms."

Even in darkness, hope blooms. 

Are you in need of a reset, reader? I've posed a challenge in my private group (info here) that we will begin tomorrow. I'm challenging the submissives in the group to focus on one area in submission they'd like to improve specifically relating to submitting more fully, and I'm challenging the dominants to focus on one area in which they can give their relationship more attention. 
 
Could you, too, use this challenge? Then I urge you to take it on your own, or ask a friend to hold you accountable. For one week, focus on that one area, and make small steps to strive to do better.


Every day that dawns brings with it new hope.  I hope you embrace this time of renewal, press the reset button if you need to, and find what it is that your heart desires. Remember that this isn't a matter of arriving, but a journey. Hope isn't lost in the struggle.


4 comments:

  1. Funny, I just posted a comment on another of your posts in part about hope. Blessings!

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  2. Hello there, I've been lurking on your site for months. I enjoy your posts very much but more importantly, I learn from them. I seem to be the rare breed in that I am a man who brought this lifestyle to my wife. I am loving Dom to my precious sub. We've been doing this for almost a year now. It's been a transformative experience. We have always had a great marriage of almost a decade. The beauty of this dynamic is that we fight much less often and even when we do they do not last as long and they are not nearly as bitter. Gone are the silent treatments we used to engage in. We would lose precious days to that terrible practice. These days, we nip it in the bud. Believe me, even almost a year later, it still takes an awful lot of inner strength and confidence to tell her she's going over my knee for something. I don't punish often but I do punish. And most times that I do, I have to give myself a talking to beforehand -- to remind myself that it's important that I do -- that it is loving -- and that it is for our best. I too started on this journey when I stumbled upon the Taken In Hand website. By the way, what happened to that site? Why is it no longer active? Anyway, I started on this journey by reading TIH. But we are much more than that these days. Over this past year we have grown into a much more D/s lifestyle. But a very loving one with a light touch. Not a lot of chains and whips happening here. And certainly no dark dungeons. Not that I'm critical of that it's just not our thing. I am very much her Dom. She is my sub and she wears a collar. But you would never know it if you just met us at a party. Although maybe you would because we can't keep our hands off each other. Ha. Thanks for all your good work here. Keep it up. I check every Sunday and am always disappointed when I don't see a post.

    Curious Cat

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    Replies
    1. Hello, there, Curious Cat. What a lovely testimony. I love hearing how this lifestyle plays out in the lives of others. Hello, there, Curious Cat. What a lovely testimony. I love hearing how this lifestyle plays out in the lives of others.

      It is indeed, as you put it, a transformative experience.
      “Believe me, even almost a year later, it still takes an awful lot of inner strength and confidence to tell her she's going over my knee for something. I don't punish often but I do punish. And most times that I do, I have to give myself a talking to beforehand -- to remind myself that it's important that I do -- that it is loving -- and that it is for our best.”
      It is one of the most difficult challenges of the role as dominant, to punish when you don’t want to cause her pain. Jason hates punishing me, and it is this knowledge that makes me desire to please him. Over time, she will likely find it easier to obey you. If I could offer just one bit of advice – pay as much attention to her as you can. It’s so very important in those early stages.
      “By the way, what happened to that site? Why is it no longer active?”
      I believe it is inactive, but you can still access the files. I’m not sure what happened to it, to be honest, but it is still a wealth of information.

      “This past year we have grown into a much more D/s lifestyle. But a very loving one with a light touch. Not a lot of chains and whips happening here.” This sounds very similar to me and Jason. We thrive on the exchange of power.
      Thank you for your message. I love hearing from readers, and appreciate the encouragement to keep writing. I wish you and your wife the very best on your journey together.

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