Sunday, June 4, 2017

Good Submissives Need Spankings, Too .

This week I’ve been a bit of a lunatic. As per the usual, I had a lot going on, and the little hormone fairy demons were out to play. It’s hard, sometimes, finding ways to balance it all, and I know I’m not alone. I need to balance my own needs for sleep, for exercise, for healthy eating, for making time to be with friends and family. I need to stay within my budget and make good choices, which can be difficult to do when kids need new sneakers, and new clothes, and things break. I need to be a good and attentive mom and wife, to meet the very many needs of my pretty large family. And then there’s work – deadlines and edits and promo and writing to do. 
I woke up this morning, as I usually do, at dark o’clock. I had messages to tend to, emails to send, choices to make. I prepared blog post material with notes and pictures, and discussed a few important business-related items with Maisy. My kids began to wake up, so I gave fashion advice and discussed fidget spinners, and directed the kids in making breakfast. I ate breakfast myself, broke up a fight, had my coffee, brought Jason his. Soon I’ll wipe down the bathrooms and turn over the laundry and clean up the kitchen and later, we all have a party to go to. 

This is normal. I know that I’m not alone. And sometimes, I really, really need Jason to help me manage those needs. 

I need to be put in my place. 

I need to know I can put down what troubles me and trust him to lead me. 

I need to know I can depend on him, that we are partners in this craziness, and that he will help me when It all becomes a bit too much. 

And sometimes? That means I need a good, hard spanking. 

I am a pretty Type-A type person, so I do compartmentalize and organize when I'll spend time writing, when I'll plan, when I'll do all the things.  

But soon? Today I will check in with Jason. We will go over today’s plan, go over my to-do list, and then I will go over his lap. 

I can say with some certainty that the spanking I’m going to get will be long and hard. Why? I’m not in trouble, no. I’ve obeyed my rules. But this morning I told him briefly that I was feeling out of sorts. Later today, we will socialize, for hours, and though I handle that fine in the moment, I crash after. 

He will help me get my head on straight. I know he will. 

Because this is how we do things.

I know from interacting with so many of you that often Dominants don’t quite understand how very much we need to be spanked. Yes, not everyone’s needs are quite as high as mine. I do best with frequent, regular sessions over daddy’s knee. Some don’t like frequent spankings, and I respect that. But today, I’d like to explain how so many of us do need frequent spankings and that if you’re reading this, and you fall into this camp, there’s really nothing wrong with you.

In my private group online, we had a discussion related to this topic recently. I will not discuss our topics here, as those discussions are members-only. (Please see this post if you’d like to join our group). But I would like to quote a dominant who responded to our discussion with a thought-provoking line. (I have his permission to quote). 

“As we have worked into this "life choice" I cannot deny what I see right in front of me. Results. Positive changes in her behavior and more importantly in her state of mind. After about three or four days without a spanking, she becomes cloudy and insecure. If I let it go longer she begins to wonder if I'm angry at her or don't love her anymore. After a spanking she is a happy and centered little girl again…”


Spankings remind me that Jason loves me. The focus and attention in clearing my mind and keeping me in my happy submissive space help me feel like I belong to him.

Being dominated is erotic. In the moment, because I’m not a masochist, I’m not turned on by being spanked, unless there’s a different sort of power exchange before, during, or after. (For example, if he’s being stern and lecturing me about being a good girl, and telling me that daddy loves me, then it *could* turn me on because it’s that exchange of power that gets me going). 

After I’m spanked, my mind is cleared and I’m focused. I feel calmer. Centered. Loved. 

Getting spanked releases “feel good” hormones that make me feel happy and secure, so after a good, long session, I often feel relaxed.

Note, I’m not talking about being punished. Discipline is a whole ‘nother ball game, and though I do sometimes feel better after he’s disciplined me, I often feel remorseful or repentant as well. 

I simply mean that even when I'm good, I need to be spanked. In fact, one might even say in order to be good, I need to be spanked. I certainly can behave without regular spankings, but it's much more challenging. 

On that note, it's time for me to go check in with Jason. I am already craving lying over his lap. It's time to check in with my daddy, and get ready for the day. Time to take my vitamin-S. 😏


  1. Love this post...."need a spanking in order to be good" true. That is the exact reason we started weekly maintenance spankings, so I could count on least...on hard spanking a week. hugs abby

    1. Thank you, Abby. Yes, maintenance is so necessary for some of us. It don't always want it, but I always am glad when we make the time for it.

  2. it seems that every time you post, I'm sitting here thinking, "me too!this lady must be my twin!" Thank you so much for sharing ☺

    1. Aww. I'm glad it resonated with you. Thank you!

  3. I often need some vitamin S too. and I'm thinking a lot of us are type As :)
    I hope you got what you needed!


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