Sunday, July 9, 2017

30 Day Respect Challenge

Recently, some of us submissives were talking about This 30-Day Respect Challenge. Though it's Christian-based, and I find some of it a bit didactic, I thought it could be easily adapted for those who are motivated by challenges and who want to grow in their dynamics (read: me!). 

Life has gotten crazy lately, as I've mentioned in recent posts, while Jason and I tend to the needs of our aging parents and growing children. And I love how focused challenges bring my goals back to center. Also, since I've now been blogging for over four years, (four years!) I feel like much of what I have to offer gets repeated. "I don't get spanked much anymore for punishment, except I did, and it hurt a way lot, and I cried, and I love my daddy!" 😏

Ha! Anyway, I really like the idea of this challenge, and a few years ago, I even put together a challenge of my own, for those of you who are interested. 

The respect challenge linked above is Christian-based (the one I linked from my page is not), so do keep that in mind. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to journal every morning about how things are going here, and then I'll update you on my Sunday blog post. 

Today is my day one, July 9th, and today's focus is Choose Joy. 

I love this! I am a big believer in the power of positive thinking. Every night at dinner, our entire family shares three good things, with the intention of cultivating gratefulness and happiness. Whenever I feel myself getting down, I make myself focus on things that are beautiful, the blessings in my life, things that bring me joy, things I am grateful for. 

And I do believe that happiness is a choice, as is choosing joy. I have the power to control my own thoughts and actions, and today I am going to choose joy.

From the 30 Day Respect Challenge

Day 1—Choose Joy

We wives have the power to transform our homes from what might have been a vortex of negativity, darkness, and despair into a refuge of joy, radiance, and hope.

Our outlook on life has a profound effect not only on our own happiness, but on that of our husband and children as well. It has little to do with life circumstances and everything to do with choice.

Choosing joy is not about putting on a show for another person's sake. It's about changing the way we look at things. It's about being selective in our thoughts, choosing to dwell on the good instead of on the bad, and being glad for what we have instead of upset over what we don't.

My thoughts: 

What does "choosing joy" have to do with dominance and submission? What does choosing joy have to do with cultivating respect? 

A lifestyle of dominance and submission, in my personal opinion, works best when both couples are focused on meeting the needs of the other, focused on mutual self-giving. I serve Jason and he serves me. I bring him his coffee and he tucks me in to bed. He leads, and I follow. There is a natural give and take in all of this, and there are times when we need to deal with not getting what we want. Sometimes he needs to focus on me when he'd rather be doing something else. Sometimes I need to obey him when I don't want to. But in all of this, if I can choose to be joyful, I bless him. If I can choose to focus on myself, and understand that I can control my own actions and not his, I can let go of what is out of my control and instead give thanks for the many blessings in my life. 

When I submit to Jason, and he leads me, we remove friction from our homes and bring about peace. Learning to choose joy means that I bless Jason with a peaceful home, where we are happy and content. 

So today, on day one, I will choose joy. It's time for me to bring him his morning coffee. I'll do it with a smile. More to come. 😘


  1. This is a really beautiful post. I read it yesterday and knew I wanted to come back to it this morning, as I didn't have time to look closely at the challenge then. When I opened your blog this morning, I had forgotten that Choose Joy was the first day's challenge, but it is really what I need to hear today. I actually was thinking of a post you wrote a while back that mentioned not comparing your husband to anyone else. I have been feeling that some of my needs aren't being met, despite fairly blunt conversation about it, and that led me to compare my husband to the way he handled me a few years ago. I know it's technically not another Dom, but the concept is the same. After re-reading the first day's challenge this morning, I was able to gain some perspective and take control of how I handle my emotions regarding this. I really appreciate you sharing this with us! It's difficult not having friends to share these struggles with, but your blog is my go-to when I need to know I'm not the only woman who has "issues" like these ☺

    1. I'm so sorry for the delay in replying here. I did (but it was in my head, apparently!).

      I am so glad that you found what you needed in this post, and that you were able to rein yourself in and gain some perspective. For what it's worth, I haven't felt my needs have been met lately, either, and I had a teary conversation about it with Jason, in which he heard me but I got disrespectful and ended up in trouble over it. It happens!

      I am so glad you know you aren't alone!! ((hugs))


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