Good morning, readers!
So for thirty days, I'm focusing on this thirty day respect challenge, because I like having a focus, and I thought it would be nice to enhance things by kicking up my own level of submission, and focusing on Jason.
I started out with a really great first week that I blogged about here.
Week two? Definitely harder. This week, we had several kids in summer day camp, and several kids not in camp. This made for one helluva week. I ended up driving kids to and from camp (this added up to a good deal of daily driving), then I had kids at home that needed me who weren't hanging out with their siblings (you know, they fight sometimes but they're really best friends!) so I felt pulled in many directions. Every night I was washing towels and swim suits and packing lunches, when I just wanted to go to bed. I enjoyed my time with the kids and took a few days off from my work so we could soak up the summer sun. But man, did it affect everything else. Toss in a birthday, guests, a book that launched, and I was exhausted.
You know how I've freely admitted that I don't get disciplined all that much anymore? Ha. I think I landed myself over his knee at least three times this week, and none of it was for fun. It might've been more times than three. I lost count.
|found on Pinterest|
I simply put too much on my plate, and let the overwhelm affect my self control. It happens. I didn't even have hormones to blame this time.
So not only did I get myself in trouble, but the challenge slipped out of focus a bit.
Last night, Jason came to bed and made a very good conclusion. "You did way too much last week. You got snippy with me, ended up spanked, and I won't allow it this week. Tomorrow, you'll rest. No taking the kids all over the place, or booking up your time, or making plans. I won't allow it."
In my mind, initially I rejected this, because I feel like summer is slipping away. Though I'm a homebody and do enjoy being home, my kids are growing up. I enjoy going to the beach, and swimming, and making memories. But he was right. It's time to pull back a bit, and relax.
So when he tucked me in and said, "Do not argue with me. You'll do as I say," I accepted it and simply said, "Yes, daddy." I knew he was right. This week is a light week schedule-wise, and the kids have some summer school to do before they visit their cousins, so I'll do my best to keep things at an even keel and I'm focusing myself back on this challenge.
Here's how things went this week
Day 8—Be Thankful
I found this pretty easy. It was Sunday, and we had a lovely day as a family together. I practice thankfulness intentionally on a regular basis, so it was easy to slip into a grateful attitude. There's always something to be thankful for, and I found when I focused on the many things that I was thankful for, it was easier to be calm with Jason, to submit to his authority, and I didn't get in trouble.
Because I'm working on this challenge as a submissive challenge, I also focused on what aspects of our dynamic I'm thankful for. Sure, things can always be a bit different. It would be great if we had more time together, more privacy, and (ahem) more sex. But this is a busy time of our lives, raising children and teens and caring for aging parents, both of us working. Seasons shift, and this season is a busy one. So instead of getting down about things I want, I really try hard to focus on what I'm grateful for.
Day 9—Smile at Him
Isn't it funny how we need a reminder to smile? I do, though. Sometimes I get so focused on getting things done that I focus too pragmatically on my day. I smiled at him a lot this day, and it made me feel happier. I'm sure it made him feel happier, too.
Day 10—Respond Physically
This didn't happen the day it was supposed to. Jason and I didn't even see each other all day. We were like the proverbial two ships passing in the night. No beuno. The next day was even busier, but I decided I'd do the day ten challenge anyway.
So day 10 happened on day 11.
Now honestly, I don't really have an issue with saying yes to sex. Ahem. There are times when I'd be happy with even more, but time and energy prevent us from being intimate. Y'all know how it goes.
By the time this challenge day rolled around, I was bitchy and irritable, tired and hot, and I snapped at him. I don't remember what I said, but he was working from home. He simply turned around on his swivel desk chair, raised his brows, and pointed to the door. "Lock it." Yeah, I knew what was coming. Soon enough I found myself belly down, kicking my feet and squirming, as he let me have it. He said, "I'm not going to let you snap at everyone in the house and ruin this day." He spanked me to tears, but when he was done, I was his very good little submissive girl. Contrite and humbled. He promised me that if I behaved myself for the rest of the day, he'd reward me that night with some...very nice things, that I enjoy immensely. 😍 Sounds great, right? But this is when the challenge really helped.
One of our kids, who has some phobias, was having a really rough night. Jason stayed with him until he fell asleep, and in the interim, I fell asleep.
Now I'm not one of those girls that doesn't like sex. I'm an erotic romance writer. I love sex. I don't turn him away. So when I first read this challenge day I thought, eh, easy peasy. But after a long day, when I've just fallen asleep, it's super hard to be open to him coming into bed and waking me up for sex. I totally passed out. And when he came upstairs, he woke me up with clearly only one thing on his mind. I had to work hard at not resisting him, and this challenge was very much at the forefront of my mind. I didn't resist. I responded to him, and it was lovely.
Day 11—Eyes Only for Him
This was another busy day, so much so that I didn't even look at the challenge until late. But instead of postponing it to the next day, I decided to skip this one. I didn't really need this challenge. I adore my husband, have zero interest in any other guys, and can't imagine anyone else I'd rather be with than him. Sounds Polly Perfect maybe, but I don't really care. It's the total truth. We've been doing this for nearly five years, and for at least the past four and a half, I've worked my ass off not comparing him to others. The thought of him comparing me to other wives or submissives is devastating, and I believe I should treat him the way I should be treated, so I've made this a high priority for a pretty long time.
Day 12—Kiss Him Goodbye
Isn't it funny we need to be reminded to kiss each other? I did need this reminder. Jason and I made a New Year's Resolution to kiss each other every single day. I realized once that I sometimes go over his knee more often than kiss him (true story!) and when I mentioned this to him, he laughed. He
agreed to focus on kissing each other more this year, but some days, especially on those days when we barely meet each other at the door,we need to remind each other to kiss, and not just a peck on the cheek. But sometimes I climb on his lap and we really...focus. 😘 So this was a nice reminder.
Day 13—Feed Him His Favorites
Yes! Why not focus on pleasing him? Often, when a submissive writes to me and asks how they can make this work a bit better, I suggest focusing on submission, rather than his dominance (or lack thereof). It's easy to submit to a direct command or rule, but there are other, more subtle ways. In our private group, I mentioned that years ago, someone gave me the advice to ask my husband what were the three most important things to come home to. What did he like to have done? I want my Jason to end the day happy to come home to me, to a peaceful house, and a wife that welcomes him. One of the little things that can really bless him is to make his favorite food.
Now, I'm not someone who enjoys being in the kitchen. I really, really don't. Because I'm a stay-at-home mom of many, and until recently we were on one income, I had to learn to cook. I learned how to make as much as possible from scratch. I didn't like it, though! There are hundreds of things I'd rather do than be in the kitchen. But I know it blesses my family when I cook or bake for them. And yes, as a busy working mom, I do pick up convenience foods and order takeout. But I feel it blesses my family when I cook or bake, so I try to see it as an act of love.
Yesterday, I didn't want to cook. I was tired, and I haven't done my grocery shopping yet. But I put together a plan and made some of Jason's most favorite things to eat. He raved about it, and it was worth the effort. I really could do this more often, so I'm glad of the reminder.
Going into the week ahead, I'm going to try to prepare a bit more rather than wing it. I've got days 14-20 to focus on. We have a pretty low-key week ahead until the weekend, and my whole house is still asleep. So I'm going to plan my week and maybe, just maybe, I can save myself from getting in trouble. Have a great week, everyone.