Please note I'm offering these as food for thought, not a blueprint for any D/s dynamic, a promise this will happen, or a blanket statement saying these statements are true for all. They're simply some observations I've made in my own D/s dynamic, and in the community.
TEN REASONS TO PRACTICE A DOM/SUB DYNAMIC
10. We are happier and less depressed.
With the rise in cortisol levels, more sex, and less conflict? Move over chocolate. I’ll take a spanking, please.
9. We enhance the level of trust in our relationship
Having to face someone's weaknesses and lean on the support of another is humbling. It is oh so hard to admit we've not done what we should, and it's so hard to ask for help from another. That's exactly what we do when we submit to discipline. We have to trust they won't hurt us both emotionally or physically. And yes, we're only human and still make mistakes, but trusting someone else is so freeing. And from the Dominant's perspective, knowing they're trusted so deeply often makes them feel empowered and loved.
8. We learn the art of mutual self-giving
When we engage in D/s, we are asking the dominant partner to give of themselves... attention, discipline, love, and affection. Support and guidance, direction..the list goes on. And in turn, the submissive partner must also give... trust, acceptance, honesty. And when two people give freely to the other, love grows.
7. It's sexy.
6. We become more comfortable in our own skin
When you recognize the fact that you're attracted to an alternative lifestyle... and you accept that and engage in it... it's empowering. And since many dominants also encourage submissives to be positive, and not allow self-deprecation, it also sometimes happens that the submissive becomes more self-confident. In turn, the act of dominance, when willingly accepted by the submissive, often empowers the dominant.
5. We have more peace in our homes.
In a working D/s dynamic, conflict is often easily resolved and communication so routine, that peace often reins. Couples learn to build one another up, to offer encouragement, to focus on each other and not allow distractions to tear them apart.
4. We don’t fight as often.
With a fairly simple, clear-cut method of conflict resolution, D/s couples often report they don't fight nearly as often as they used to, if ever.
3. We enhance better communication
And I don't just mean when it comes to the relationship, but all areas the couple face are often improved with clear communication. If we learn to express ourselves succinctly, and how to talk while truly listening to the other, we become really good communicators.
2. We become the best versions of ourselves
Many D/s dynamics focus on some area of improvement -- goal setting, helping overcome character flaws, focusing on being responsible or productive. And when meeting those expectations becomes habit, and a Dominant partner consistently helps the submissive meet those goals, we improve ourselves. In turn, often the dominant partner finds they have to hold themselves to the same standards.
1. We keep the romance alive
And the number one reason to practice D/s? We keep the romance alive. The whole cocktail of all the reasons to practice D/s add up to this. When we remove conflict, become happier, have better sex lives, build one another up, focusing on meeting the needs of the other? Magic happens. The relationship can really and truly flourish.