"Where there is submission, there is freedom. Where there is dominance, there is responsibility. In both, there is love."
hii read all of your posts and now im really really confused. i have some questioni cant underestand .You and your husband are human.Every human being has a personality.And all have a duty to respect the personality of other peopleI think that two people who are married to each other, but they need love and respectYou have to respect your partner And he should respect you because you're both humanand corporal punishment is the greatest disrespect for another personYou talk of love in all your posts but do not put anything about respectYou're ready to get punished because he loves you?You believe that you should respect your husband, but he does not respect you?Is he perfect?And does not do no wrong?Does he always do everything perfect?Does not forget to do what he should do?Did not he do something wrong?What is your reaction to his mistakes?Did you get him to corporal punishment?No because you do not own the right toOur body is a gift from God And we should not harm our bodiesbut you allow another person to harm your body? please answer me im really confused.
I disagree that corporal punishment is the greatest disrespect for another person. Abuse is the highest form of disrespect. Discipline, when administered in love, is an act of love, not disrespect.Jason has the utmost respect and love for me, and I for him. We are equal in worth, though not authority, but that is a decision I freely make. Yes, he makes mistakes, but I do not discipline him because that is not what works for us. That is not what brings us peace and intimacy; my agreeing to be under his authority is what brings about that peace and intimacy. Jason does not harm my body. I do believe my body is a gift from God. For that reason, I take good care of myself by eating well and exercising. He does not harm me by spanking me. I can handle it. ;) I can assure you if he harmed me, neither of us would participate in this lifestyle. I doubt anything I say here can change your mind, but you asked me to answer your questions, and I believe they came from a real place of concern, so I did my best.
THIS IS 100% FICTION THERE PROBABLY ISONLY ONE PERSON WISHING HE HAD OR SHE HAD A SPANKING PARTNER
I'm not sure who you are referring to in your comment. I'm not sure who the person is that contacted me above (and said corporal punishment was abusive) because I never heard from him or her again. But if I'm the one being accused of lying, I can assure you that everything I write on this blog, though sometimes written in such a way to maintain privacy, is 100% true, and anyone who reads over time can hopefully see that. But if they don't, they're free to move on and read elsewhere.
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I've been reading your blog for the past few days. You are such a gifted writer. I can really feel the emotion you feel for your husband through your words. Please keep writing!
Thank you, Renee. I'm glad you enjoy it!
Hi J Girl. I was a precious follower of another blogspot until it shut down due to circumstances. I have visited your blog before and I am now searching for a new dd community in which to interact with others. I must compliment on your beautiful use of words and ability to eloquently describe your relationship with Jason. My husband and I have have been practicing dd for over three years and we could not be happier. I am looking forward to reading more of your posts.Ann
Hello, Ann, and welcome. Thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. There are two online communities I'm actively engaged in and enjoy. Maybe you'd like them as well. One is www.disciplineandlove.com, a long-standing board I've been a member of for several years. The second is ourddlife.com, a newer community I also enjoy.
I love your blogs don't worry about the haters as long as you know what you guys have that's all that counts
Thank you. <3
Thank you so much for your blog and sharing your relationship. I am relatively new to the TTWD lifestyle and I have gleaned so much wisdom from your page. Particularly your inner monologues about submission in times of stress or whatever the case may be. My hubby and I have been working slowly at this for a year... And your posts have helped me understand submission in a much more beautiful way. The word had always scared me before. Submission was evil according my my upbringing. But I have come to learn after much reflection and researching that giving your submission to your partner is truly the sweetest gift you can give them. And it is strangely empowering as well. I look forward to following your posts as they come and will continue reading all your previous posts. Have a great weekend
Quick reply to Leigh -- I got your message but somehow it appears Blogger gobbled it up (happens sometimes). Thank you for your sweet message! <3
I am really seeking some advice! Your post, about submission brings about dominance helped but I would really love to talk to you more. I am in a hard spot with my husband where I am doing what you described you were doing initially and it's so hard to break out of. Is there a way to email you? If not any comments here would help. I read your most recent post where your husband and you were in the car and he had just kind of "embarrassed you", he apologized, and then kind of subtly warned you to not continue dwelling on it. Thing is, I just cannot imagine my husband being soooooo collected and in control, lol. However I have read your husbands answers post and I swear my husband is identical in so many aspects. He's very firm in nature, demands respect... He naturally leads our home, but we are new to this DD journey and so there are days he is less dominant than others. Has your husband really evolved that much? We have been officially practicing this new lifestyle for less than 6 months. I crave the day my husband will use the "dominant" talk, I've seen you post about. he does speak this way during actual discipline but not as much in daily life which is what I long for. I tend to criticize him, just when my frustration comes out, when he doesn't necessarily react "like a dom" to some things. He gets very upset when I do this, and it sets us back so much. He says I am very non submissive in many ways, yet demanding of him to be dominant, so basically he tells me I am bad about controlling the situation - - which is definitely the opposite of what I want deep down. I want to hear him speak with "dom language", be more commanding, but I also want to be more submissive and stop criticizing him in my head and comparing him to seasoned, experienced doms who have been doing this a lot longer. Any advice????
I'm sorry for the delay in responding here. Somehow the comment got mixed in with others and slipped past my radar. You can email me at email@example.com if you'd like. Your situation is a very common struggle most of us in this dynamic struggle with. Often one partner grows at a faster rate than his or her partner. Usually the submissive craves the dominance she feels will bring her into submission (but has often not gotten to the point where she is submitting regularly herself yet). Jason and I both needed a great deal of practice and have been at the role side of things (leading and submitting without spanking) for sixteen years. So it takes a good deal of time. Jason was not always as patient as he was in the post you're referring to. I certainly was not always as submissive! It takes a great deal of time, practice, and patience. My advice would be to continue to remind yourself to take the focus off of yourself and put it back on him. What can you do to serve? What can you do to honor his requests? What can you do to obey him, even when he isn't filling your needs as a submissive yet? Focus on what *you* can do, not what he can do, because you are the only one you can control. Remember that submission brings about dominance. I wish you the best.
I just found your amazing blog and I have a ton of things I want to say but I want to explore more first. However I just read your implement post,and wanted to tell you about saddle shops. Besides all the lovely leather smells and beautiful saddles, there is the whip rack. You will find a number of interesting things but a favorite of a certain lady is called a bat. It is kind of like a narrow paddle and quite effective. When you pay for it the woman (it always seems to be a woman ) at the register will know full well you don't own a horse, I hope that is not involving innocents in one's kink. In any case you deserve an award. Eric
Well now that is fascinating! :) Thanks for your kind words and welcome to the blog. :)
Hi! I am a 40+ year old woman married 25+ years. I'm in desperate love with my hubs but greatly need dominance and correction. I've done so many foolish things because I don't stop and think. I've cody my family more than should have ever been allowed by any husband. I'm craving discipline even though I don't like it when I want my way. I've lurked for years as my husband and I have worked to make this lifestyle happen. We're finally there and amid our boot camp. I'm sure I will be contacting you soon. The email address isn't at the bottom of your home page. Can I get it from you?
Gosh, I'm sorry I missed this. Not sure if you found my contact form at the bottom of the page (bottom right of the home screen) but if not, you can reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Again, apologies for not seeing this sooner!
Hi Jason's Girl! My beautiful wife and I have been following your blog for a little over a year now and really appreciate the content you share! Thank you both (you and Jason) for opening up to us they way you do! So much of what you write resonates with us!So I have 2 questions I really would appreciate your help with:1) We have been together for over 20 years, and so moving into a domestic discipline (D/s) relationship comes with lots of fits and starts in terms of not falling back into "old established habits", which had my bride more "in charge" often then me - yet she craves my leading. Was this true for your relationship? How can we become more consistent?Secondly, it seems like your "rules" were at first (or always?) about what is benefitting you. This really resonates with me, I want to establish our rules around building up my wife and making sure she is not taking on too much (she is always a sucker for saying "yes" to everyone and everything - often to her own detriment. At first, did you and Jason lay out a really simple set of rules and associated expectations? If so - would you be willing to share them just to help give us/others a more concrete starting point?Thanks again from some newbies! Your blog is such a source of encouragement and insight.
Hey there, Thanks so much for taking the time to write. Since I don't have a way of replying to your privately, I'll have to respond here and hope it gets back to you. :) First, thanks so much for your comments and praise. I love hearing that what we share here helps others in their own dynamics. I'd be happy to give you my own feedback on your questions.I'll type my response separately and post it here as soon as I am able (hopefully by this evening, if not by tomorrow morning).
1) We have been together for over 20 years, and so moving into a domestic discipline (D/s) relationship comes with lots of fits and starts in terms of not falling back into "old established habits", which had my bride more "in charge" often then me - yet she craves my leading. Was this true for your relationship? How can we become more consistent?JG: Well, here Jason was always the natural leader. He’s a pretty naturally dominant guy, and I was submissive to him since before we were even married, so for us it was a bit “easier,” and we didn’t have to establish really new roles, or re-learn responses. So my first bit of advice to you would be to be gentle on yourselves and take this slow. In my observation, people who’ve come at this without the dominant and submissive roles in place tend to take a much longer time to learn how their new roles function. Old habits will resurface and misunderstandings will take place. That said, it doesn’t mean that you can’t establish new roles, but it will take quite a bit of trial and error. For the submissive partner, try to frame your comments respectfully. Add “May I” before as many requests as you can, to train yourself to be respectful and ask permission for things. This may be overwhelming at first for you as the dominant partner. Try to honor her attempts and recognize that both of your roles are so very difficult. Praise her often, and encourage her in this. Remind her to speak respectfully, and do make small efforts to assert your dominance in little ways. We women love things that make us feel important. For example, here Jason expects me to go over my daily to-do list during our morning check-in. I kneel when we do this and he goes over my list and helps me prioritize. This serves so many wonderful purposes in our dynamic. 1) It establishes him as the leader, 2) It reminds me of my place, 3) It helps me order my day and put what he wants me to do first, 4) It makes me feel important to him, 5) we have time to discuss anything important, 6) we are able to TALK. Communication is a huge part of the beginning (and ongoing) success to a D/s dynamic. Try to establish some time of regular check-in, sit-downs, or the like. In short, make your dynamic important. Second, consider maintenance. We submissives often fight it but we really love it when our dominant partners get our heads in a good place with a spanking that helps us get centered, not punished. It is during these maintenance spankings I’m reminded of my place, and Jason of his. In short, talk often, start small, and pay very close attention to one another. If you haven’t already discussed what it is you hope to glean from all of this, I strongly urge you to do so.The consistency factor is really a matter of “practice makes perfect.” She will not always want to submit. You will not always want to lead. Practice, practice, and practice some more, and soon you will both have established lasting habits.
2) Secondly, it seems like your "rules" were at first (or always?) about what is benefitting you. This really resonates with me, I want to establish our rules around building up my wife and making sure she is not taking on too much (she is always a sucker for saying "yes" to everyone and everything - often to her own detriment. At first, did you and Jason lay out a really simple set of rules and associated expectations? If so - would you be willing to share them just to help give us/others a more concrete starting point?My rules here were initially about benefitting me, yes, mostly about achieving goals and helping me have accountability. I was the one that wanted this to be full-time, not Jason, and it wasn’t until we started all of this that he saw firsthand how much he enjoyed this, too. However, as soon as we began, he decided he was going to put into place some safety issues that had been concerns for a good long while. So my first ever rule was no texting while driving – no looking at my phone, or anything like that, while driving. After that, he made it a rule that I had to empty the dryer lint after doing laundry, and after that, he made a rule that I couldn’t leave the kitchen with the front burner on. Those are still rules four years later, though I rarely break them. They sound small, but safety is a very big concern for him, and he finally had the tools to get me to stop things I’d been doing for a long time with no consequence. So yes, things began small and gradually, we added things. I am not allowed to commit to things without asking Jason’s permission, and it’s a good rule. I think it would be a nice one for you to start with, to help you help her, and to establish your authority. I simply say, “I have to ask Jason first but I will get back to you.” Everyone – literally, everyone – understands that over time. I do agree it is much better to start small, because you don’t want to overwhelm yourself as the dominant, or discourage your wife as submissive. I hope this helps. I wish you the best. JG
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